YOG36 A Sneek Peep Inside The Bell Hooks Book Club.

Hey, Hey Sacred Sista,

If you’ve been on the fence about joining the circle, you’re in for a treat today! I’m giving you a sneek peep inside the what, the why and the how of this blackalicious sacred space. In this podcast episode, I share the step by step process through the session and why sista’s are returning to continue their journey to wholeness. Topics include:

How does black self hate show up in your behavior?

How to use the tools for empoWOMBent.

Defining self love, how do you know when you love yourself?

Why Sista sharing boundaries are crucial for building trust.

The power of cultural meditation.

Click below to listen to this episode.

To join the circle click below.

 

How to Heal With Black Women When You Were Bullied By Them.

Many of us understand that black self hate and colorism is a huge issue in our community, but many do not understand it’s complexity and how it manifests inside our relationships. In today’s session, I answer a question from a biracial sista who wants to heal with black women, is doing the work, but finds it very triggering because she was bullied by black women. In this podcast I share:

The origins of colorism and sista pain.

How this fear impacts your relationship with self, parenting and partners.

Racial mindfulness.

How to chose a healing space.

What to do if you feel triggered inside a healing space.

My own journey of learning to love my Sista’s.

Click below to listen.

Book mentioned in this episode.

To attend the book club go to www.sistacircle.juneallen.net

x3 Book Club Blessings.

This weekend (8th December) will be the 3rd Sacred Sista Circle Book Club where we study, ‘Sista’s of The Yam: Black Women and Self Recovery.’ By Bell Hooks.

I have to say that I’ve had several emotional moments being in the space where sista’s felt safe enough to begin sharing their truth and finding themselves. I feel so grateful to be trusted, not with telling them what to do, but in showing them where to look. Where to find their divinity often buried beneath the rubble of unheard black pain. It takes courage to keep showing up and keep taking these emotional risks, but we do it to change our painful pasts, to draw a line under our recycled, generational shame.

It’s an exciting time to start doing this work because so many of us understand the importance of having these safe boundaried spaces for black women, to be heard and seen for who they are without apology. This space really is sacred because:

  • Seeing someone who looks like you share there experience and being able to identify builds trust and nurtures  hope. Melanin reflections matter.
  • Talking about the internal solutions to our collective struggles helps us feel empowered to begin seeding the change in our lives.
  • Boundaries play a core role in the space which allows your experience to be witnessed without judgement, shame or minimising. This opens up the space for more truth telling and connects us as a sistahood and community.

Thank you to the beautiful sista’s who continue to allow me to be part of their healing journey; and for those of you watching on the sidelines, we’re hear for you when you’re ready to join us.

For details of how you can join the Sista Circle Book Club in person and virtual, go to www.sistacircle.juneallen.net 

 

The Ultimate To Do List For Black Self Love!

  1. Do it first – Make self love a priority.
  2. Do it slowly! Loving yourself can feel uncomfortable if you’re not used to it, so do it slowly so you can learn about yourself with presence #babystepsmatter.
  3. Do it with feeling – You can only heal through feeling your way through the healing process. Use your sacred sista time to identify what feelings come up and observe how you respond. This awareness will help your needs.
  4. Do it scared – Change is uncomfortable which is why it’s important to be clear about your why. Why do you want to love yourself? How will you life change as you do? Feel that fear and do it anyway.
  5. Do it regardless – Sometimes the people close to you won’t like the boundaries that come with self love because it often means saying no to them! As you learn to love yourself, you will attract those who will honor your new found self respect.
  6. Do it with others – Find a safe sista space to share, identify and heal as a community.
  7. Do it again – Repeat the experiences with people, places and things that nurture your self love.
  8. Do it with gratitude – Pump up the gratitude by focusing on how you FEEL about something you are grateful for. Remember how far you have come.
  9. Do it with patience – Healing, learning and changing is exhausting so take your time.
  10. Do it with love – Be kind and gentle. Forgive yourself as many times as you need to be forgiven.

The greatest act of self love is changed behavior.  If you would like support and tools for more self love, join us for this months Sacred Sista Circle Book Club. Click the link below to get your tickets.

Happy 50th Birthday To Me!

Today is my 50th Birthday and I am so grateful to be alive, thriving and sober! I’ve already been in the ugly cry several times today from all the wonderful messages from friends and my Sacred Sista Mentees.

I used to hate birthdays in the past because it would trigger shame about being seen, anxiety around being with others and a desperate isolation knowing that I could not connect with anyone who looked like me. Today, my racial sobriety has given me the awareness and tools to work through the vulnerability of my blackness and embrace a deeper connection with my community.

This year, I’ve planned a mixture of chilled and social events. This picture is me chilling with a green tea before I have my massage. Yaaaasssss.

Despite it being my birthday, my biggest gift is being able serve you. To continue sharing my experience, strength and hope so you know you’re not alone. In honor of this  commitment, I couldn’t let today go by without giving you the opportunity to get some goodies in my birthday power sale! These offers are only available till midnight on Friday London time!

Dive in at www.birthday.juneallen.net 

Your welcome!

J x

You Are Not Powerless!

With a history and culture of unheard pain, it makes sense that many of us feel a deep sense of powerlessness. We feel powerless over white supremacy, powerless over the ‘loved’ ones who hurt us, and powerless over the unmanageable impact it’s had on our lives.

The result of unheard powerlessness and oppression is learned helplessness. When we’re taught that we have no power, we stay trapped in a child like state where being seen or heard is emotionally unsafe. I’ve often described myself as this adult child and the anger I swallowed around my powerlessness became depression. My oppression became depression. The anger without the fire……….. Want more?

The 13 November will be my 50th Birthday and I’m sharing a collection of 50 lessons, revelations and rituals (FREEDOM 50 Series) that have nurtured my serenity and what I hope, will inspire you to stay on the path of healing. This session is one of my 10 life lessons. Click here to here the full session in audio, You are not powerless! 

Click here to find out more about the FREEDOM 50 Series.

Till Next time,

Your sista in service.

June

Grounding Techniques When There is Sexual Assault in The News.

Over the last few days, the news has been saturated with ‘high profile’ men and sexual assault. If you’re a survivor (as I am), then I’m sure you’ll agree that this is very triggering and trying to go about the day as normal has not felt emotionally safe.

I’m not interested in debating whether they’re guilty, what’s important in this moment, is to have conversation with you about the impact on your well being and share some tools so you can take care of yourself. Be gentle!

Pete Walker PTSD Book Mentioned

Happy UK Black History Month!

Hey Hey!!

It’s Black History Month in the UK and I’m using it as an opportunity to share more empoWOMBment  and connect more in person with my local London Sista’s. I kicked off the month with this free webclass below on the importance of engaging and celebrating our culture. I’ve also created a special BHM page to host 2 new in person workshops to continue the healing! Check them out at www.bhm.juneallen.net  I look forward to spending time with you.

It’s #sacredsistatime

WEBCLASS: 10 WAYS BLACK HISTORY MONTH BUILDS SELF ESTEEM.

Addiction is a Family Disease

I’ve been a little quiet over the last few days, because it was my late brothers birthday on the 7th of September. After many years of substance abuse, he died aged 46.
Many of us don’t understand addiction, and are quick to judge those who act out with drink, drugs, food, sex or any other behaviours that sabotage our ability to show up and shine in our greatness.
For black folks, addiction is a cultural disease rooted in a desperate need to escape the vulnerability of our blackness. We carry the scars of slavery and todays oppression which vilifies our melanin magic.
Without a revolutionary program of gentleness, healing and compassion, our people will continue to recycle their pain by hurting ourselves and each other.
The last conversation I had with my brother was painful because he was high and incoherent.
I felt powerless over his suffering.
I was scared of getting THAT phone call. That my sobriety could not save him.
In recovery, I learned to let go of the guilt of not being able to end his misery. Today, I honor him by sharing the power of racial sobriety with those who are willing and able to do the work.
Healing begins when we accept that we cannot control how others choose to manage their pain. We let go of trying to save those we love, and focus on healing ourselves.
Today, I will not abandon myself in the compulsive need to rescue others. My recovery and healing must always come first.
……………
 In this previous podcast, I  talk more openly about my brothers addiction and how his death continues to keep me sober and serving the community.

To get started on your journey to racial sobriety, go to www.sobriety.juneallen.net
 for your free course with 7 powerful masterclasses.