When is the right time to start your healing?

‘The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. – Alice Walker.
We’re already at the end of January and hopefully, happy holidays have faded into the distance. However, if you’re still seething from the savage reminder of the pain still being recycled around you, how long are you willing to avoid looking at the cost of your denial in these relationships?
How long are you willing to accept unhappiness, because you’re trapped in the pain of uncertainty? When is going to be the right time to start doing the heart work?
January is the time we make promises with good intentions about the changes we want in our lives. We’re tired of dragging around the same old dysfunction and make endless promises to align our expectations with idealistic perfection.
We say what we want,  we understand why we want it, but fail to have an honest dialog about HOW we’re actually going to get it. January is done and real life has settled in so we slip back into the same coping strategies we used to avoid the pain of living in our truth.
Now we’re soaked in the shame of falling off the empowerment wagon again, and again, and again. When is going to be the right time to ask for help?
Procrastinated tomorrows only poison your legacy and trap you inside the unheard pain of today. Extracting dysfunction doesn’t have to wind you from being present in everyday life. Your transformation can take place in a cultural village nurtured through tenderness, understanding and patience.
In recovery, we learn that change doesn’t happen through annual declarations and willpower. We gently take our time to work the program and use the tools to take the next compassionate step, from one moment to the next. There is never a right time to start doing the heart work, you just have to decide and then take action.  Now. In this moment. No matter how small.
Today, I am willing to admit powerlessness over my fear of change. The longer I stay in denial, the more my life and relationships become unmanageable.
Affirmation: I am worthy of healing. I choose to ask for help from those who have walked the path before me.
With Blackalicious love.
June x

Recovery Step 1 Reflections.

It’s one thing to know that we live under the system of racism, and another to consciously feel it’s devastating impact on our lives.

White fear of genetic annihilation has made us prisoners of war inside our black skin. The longer we swallow our oppression, the more unmanageable our lives have become.

When we affirm the power to change our lives through the steps, we challenge the core parts of ourselves still bleeding from internalised self hate.

In Step 1, we admit that we are powerless over those who practice white supremacy. We surrender to the truth and let go of our compulsive need to escape the vulnerability of our blackness.

As we use the tools and peel back the layers of confusion, we experience a new hope and begin to find the courage to show up in our regal divinity.

In this moment, I will honor that I am alive. I can find the way home to my blacknificance, by asking for help from those who have walked the path before me.

Affirmation: I choose to live in the light. I am worthy of healing.

 

Till next time,

With Blackalicious love.

June x

Are You Scared of Becoming Your Mother?

‘A wounded daughters acceptance of her mother’s inability to love requires willingness and courage. Willingness to accept the truth about her mothers limitations and courage to change the way she responds without self blame.’

This quote is an exert from a series of empowerment training’s I’m writing to honor the wounded daughters of abusive black mothers.

We cannot have honest conversations about wanting to end white supremacy, until we’re ready to raise our hands and do the healing work required to free ourselves internally.

I still have moments of pain and grief around my mother’s behavior, but I stay committed to the healing work because greatness is my birthright.

I also want a loving, mother experience for my little Plaintain, Zuri. 🙂

The more I learn and speak, the more I understand  the suffering in the community.

I want you to know that you are not alone.

There is hope.

When you empower a women you empower a nation.

You spoke, I listened.

Today, I’m sharing an opportunity for wounded daughters to have a compassionate, non-judgmental space to explore this topic and begin to find peace.  Details are below.