The Ultimate To Do List For Black Self Love!

  1. Do it first – Make self love a priority.
  2. Do it slowly! Loving yourself can feel uncomfortable if you’re not used to it, so do it slowly so you can learn about yourself with presence #babystepsmatter.
  3. Do it with feeling – You can only heal through feeling your way through the healing process. Use your sacred sista time to identify what feelings come up and observe how you respond. This awareness will help your needs.
  4. Do it scared – Change is uncomfortable which is why it’s important to be clear about your why. Why do you want to love yourself? How will you life change as you do? Feel that fear and do it anyway.
  5. Do it regardless – Sometimes the people close to you won’t like the boundaries that come with self love because it often means saying no to them! As you learn to love yourself, you will attract those who will honor your new found self respect.
  6. Do it with others – Find a safe sista space to share, identify and heal as a community.
  7. Do it again – Repeat the experiences with people, places and things that nurture your self love.
  8. Do it with gratitude – Pump up the gratitude by focusing on how you FEEL about something you are grateful for. Remember how far you have come.
  9. Do it with patience – Healing, learning and changing is exhausting so take your time.
  10. Do it with love – Be kind and gentle. Forgive yourself as many times as you need to be forgiven.

The greatest act of self love is changed behavior.  If you would like support and tools for more self love, join us for this months Sacred Sista Circle Book Club. Click the link below to get your tickets.

Happy 50th Birthday To Me!

Today is my 50th Birthday and I am so grateful to be alive, thriving and sober! I’ve already been in the ugly cry several times today from all the wonderful messages from friends and my Sacred Sista Mentees.

I used to hate birthdays in the past because it would trigger shame about being seen, anxiety around being with others and a desperate isolation knowing that I could not connect with anyone who looked like me. Today, my racial sobriety has given me the awareness and tools to work through the vulnerability of my blackness and embrace a deeper connection with my community.

This year, I’ve planned a mixture of chilled and social events. This picture is me chilling with a green tea before I have my massage. Yaaaasssss.

Despite it being my birthday, my biggest gift is being able serve you. To continue sharing my experience, strength and hope so you know you’re not alone. In honor of this  commitment, I couldn’t let today go by without giving you the opportunity to get some goodies in my birthday power sale! These offers are only available till midnight on Friday London time!

Dive in at 

Your welcome!

J x

You Are Not Powerless!

With a history and culture of unheard pain, it makes sense that many of us feel a deep sense of powerlessness. We feel powerless over white supremacy, powerless over the ‘loved’ ones who hurt us, and powerless over the unmanageable impact it’s had on our lives.

The result of unheard powerlessness and oppression is learned helplessness. When we’re taught that we have no power, we stay trapped in a child like state where being seen or heard is emotionally unsafe. I’ve often described myself as this adult child and the anger I swallowed around my powerlessness became depression. My oppression became depression. The anger without the fire……….. Want more?

The 13 November will be my 50th Birthday and I’m sharing a collection of 50 lessons, revelations and rituals (FREEDOM 50 Series) that have nurtured my serenity and what I hope, will inspire you to stay on the path of healing. This session is one of my 10 life lessons. Click here to here the full session in audio, You are not powerless! 

Click here to find out more about the FREEDOM 50 Series.

Till Next time,

Your sista in service.