Without a safe space to process, many of us have buried difficult feelings for years. Therefore, it makes sense that our negative thinking is the emotional leaking out of a difficult past. An important part of the healing process is understanding that it’s not linear. There is no golden destination and sometimes there will be moments when things just feel sh*t as the layers come off. In this week’s live, I share the 5 tools I use when this funk gets in the way.
With the racist backlash from England losing the football, there is understandably a lot of intense rage and stress from our community at the treatment of these black players. Mindfulness is an important tool for processing difficult emotions but often the cultural context gets missed in the conversation.
In this session, I share 5 principles for effective mindfulness with the additional exploration of how to include what it means for black people living under the system of racism.
With the new year off the starting blocks I’m feeling a bit tentative about what’s around the corner. Do you relate? This COVID mayhem is far from over so I’m keepin it in the day. Also, I’m sharing 3 essential things that helped me stay sane last year (despite all the madness) that will help you this year. Enjoy x
Even if you’re not meeting up with family over the holidays, they may still be contact via zoom, phone and text etc. Therefore, its still important to be mindful about your triggers. This week I’m sharing a really simple 3 step process to help you deal with your holiday triggers.
- What are you feeling and is it really about the current conversation or something that reminds you of a wound in your past?
- What do you need? Maybe it’s being heard, understood or to feel safe.
- What must you do? Maybe you just need to remove yourself from the conversation by changing the subject, the company or the environment altogether!
Either way, the main focus must be on what comes alive in you when you communicate and to listen to your gut, needs and how you can restore a sense of emotional safety.
With the UK going into lockdown again today and the results of the election about to be revealed, I’m hearing a lot of you talking about anxiety. Yesterday, I caught myself in compulsive overworking mode and when I eventually crawled into bed I paused to check in with myself to get present to what was really going on. I’ve learned over the years that underneath anxiety was my body’s way of warning me that something (or someone) feels unsafe or a boundary has been crossed.
With parenting, studying, holding space for others and doing some trauma work, I’d let my own self care slip. Sometimes we can be so focused on trying to deal with the anxiety that we miss the message it’s trying to bring us underneath it. The election has revealed the increase in people voting for someone who’s been blatant about his white supremacist views. The lockdown is a reminder of how black and brown folks are more vulnerable around COVID with no support from the government around how this is being addressed.
Whilst I had not been thinking about how these things impact me personally, my anxiety was a reminder that I need to check in with myself and do this work. In this session, I’m going to share how I deal with anxiety and how it can be your ally in this current climate.
One of the most powerful signs that we’re on the road to wholeness is our ability to respond verses react. Reactions happen as unconscious knee jerk defenses which often rebound in our community through the shaming, ‘stop being so emotional’ conversation.
In recovery we use the term, ‘if you’re hysterical, it’s historical,’ this means that the person reacting often has a history of not being heard and the person making the negative statement is either disconnected from understanding the emotional displacement or cut off from their own empathy.
On the plantation, our ancestors could loose their lives for expressing emotion and this has unconsciously been passed down to us. Emotions have now become unsafe and weaponised to keep us silent.
The healing process allows us to release and process our unheard experiences from the past so our emotions in the present, are present.
In this moment, I will be honest about the wounds from my past that are still bleeding inside my now. Today, I will ask for help to heal these wounds and free my future.
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Happy International Reggae Day Fam!
With both my parents from Jamaica, it makes sense for me to fly the flag hard for it’s amazing influence on reggae culture.
The first time I fell in love with reggae was hearing the soundtrack from the film The Harder they come with Jimmy Cliff and Toots and the Maytals.
So why does singing our favorite chunes feel so damn good?
The voice box is connected to your vagus nerve which is the body’s longest super highway which connects our thoughts to feelings from the base of the brain to the abdomen (Google it).
When stimulated, this powerful system of roots and cables turns off our stress fight or flight response to regain a sense of balance and calm.
With the constant stress of living under the system of racism, it makes sense why singing, music and dance has always been a central role in our culture.
So as we celebrate the eclectic genius of reggae, whether you choose to twerk, whine or ride pon di river, consciously choose songs that uplift, soothe and ignite your melanin pride!
Today, I will remember that music is also therapy and black chunes matter!
Hey family, I hope you are well and keeping safe. I don’t know about you but my sleep has been all over the place since this pandemic started so in this live stream I share the tools I use to improve my zzzzzzeddds.
- Bedroom: Is it messy? Do you take work in there? Make sure your bedroom has the calm vibes for sleep.
- Deconstruct: Release the stress of the day with journalling or sharing with someone you trust.
- Meditation: Check out binaural beats Youtube which are great for reducing your anxious brain. I don’t know the science behind it, but it works!
- Movement: If anxiety is keeping you up, remember that its also energy trapped in the body so stretching, yoga, dancing, any sort of movement is great for releasing body tension. I love doing yoga sessions with an amazing black women called Faith Hunter on YouTube @spirituallyfly
- Essential Oil: Lavender oil is my primary go to for relaxation. Put a few drops on your pillow, mix with olive oil to rub on your body or drop into a warm bath. Mmmmmmm.