With UK Fathers Day around the corner, I’ve seen alot posts with anxious wounded daughters feeling sad about their absent fathers. When I talk about being absent, its not just about being physically absent, but also about being emotionally absent. Today, I’m sharing 5 Reasons why your dad can’t hear you.
In order to empathise with your pain, he has to be connected to his own and he may not be ready for that.
He may not be ready to face the consequences of the pain he has caused you. Apologies require the responsibility to take action and show up in the relationship with you and for himself.
He may feel a lot of shame about his behavior which means this chronic sense of unworthiness will keep him triggered and feeling undeserving of having a relationship with his daughter.
If he’s an addict and in active addiction it will be hard for him to see beyond his acting out behaviours.
If he lacks the emotional maturity and is really disconnected from himself, he will continue to use you as a scapegoat to dump his feelings.
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With so much stuff in the news recently around #muterkelly a sista asks, ‘It takes a village to raise a child, but how can we heal when the village is wounded?’
This is an important topic because many of us get so caught up in the savagery of white supremacy, that it’s hard to look honestly at what’s going on in our community. In today’s video I share 3 ways we can take care of ourselves when dealing with toxicity in the community.
Find a safe, non judgmental space to process your feelings. This could be a therapist, addiction recovery meeting, or a support group. The goal is to find a space that oozes empathy and compassion.
Focus on your own pain and healing first, the village heals collectively as you do the work individually.
Build your own safe village. Many of us grew up in homes that didn’t feel safe so an important part of healing is letting go of trying to change family members who are emotionally unavailable to hear you.