How to start healing the black mother wound.

Last week, hearing about Lauren Hill’s daughter Selah talk about her mothers horrific abuse triggered feelings of anger and sadness. What made this situation more painful was Lauren’s response with justification, deflection and self centering. As a survivor, I was also feeling a lot of gratitude for all the pain I’d worked through to break this generational cycle with my own daughter.

This issue obviously triggered a lot heated discussions on social media so I did this live stream sharing how to being healing this deep core wound.

It Takes a Village?

#juneslovenotes
Last Sunday was my second guest appearance on Goddesses of the Round Table with 6 other black women.
The topic was The Mother Wound which brought up some difficult, but powerful conversations.
One of the sistas talked about the concept of healing through the African proverb, ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ Whilst I love the idea of this in principle, it always makes me sad because the reality is that our village is deeply wounded.
A lot of elders in our community were (and still are) very abusive, and remain stuck in denial about their need to do the healing work or make any sort of amends to those they hurt. This means that what was once a valuable part of the village, has become unsafe and the consequences are clear in the faces of unhappy children now walking around in adult bodies.
When we’re denied the love and protection we deserve as children, it takes a lot to reach out for help as an adult. If we’re willing to trust the process, a rework of the original quote can give us hope as we build a family of choice. So instead of saying, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ we can move to,  ‘It takes a healing village to raise an adult child.’ This empowers us while we heal to be more discerning about trusting those who have earned our trust.
Today, I will remember that I have the right to choose peace and blood is not thicker than safety.

20 Ways to manifest more love with the ‘Living in Love’ Program.

To love and be loved is a basic human need. If your childhood experience of love was disrupted by separation, abuse and internalised racism, it will be difficult to give or receive love as an adult. The most important thing to remember as you learn to love is 1. Healing it takes time 2. Love is a verb so you need tools 3. You are not alone and 4. You can’t heal alone! In this live stream, June shares 20 ways to manifest more love with the support of her ‘Living in Love’ online monthly program.

 

5 Reasons Why Your Absent Father Can’t Hear Your Pain.

With UK Fathers Day around the corner, I’ve seen alot posts with anxious wounded daughters feeling sad about their absent fathers. When I talk about being absent, its not just about being physically absent, but also about being emotionally absent. Today, I’m sharing 5 Reasons why your dad can’t hear you.

  1. In order to empathise with your pain, he has to be connected to his own and he may not be ready for that.
  2. He may not be ready to face the consequences of the pain he has caused you. Apologies require the responsibility to take action and show up in the relationship with you and for himself.
  3. He may feel a lot of shame about his behavior which means this chronic sense of unworthiness will keep him triggered and feeling undeserving of having a relationship with his daughter.
  4. If he’s an addict and in active addiction it will be hard for him to see beyond his acting out behaviours.
  5. If he lacks the emotional maturity and is really disconnected from himself, he will continue to use you as a scapegoat to dump his feelings.

Watch the free web class below for tools and support.

‘How can I embrace black beauty when I’m tired of feeling ugly?’

It’s difficult to love our blackness when we’re constantly being fed that we’re ugly via the system of racism. In this webclass, I break down the truths you need to explore to reclaim your body and celebrate your black femininity.

  1. Where did you learn/internalise that blackness was ugly?
  2. How was racism internalised and acted out as self hate in your family/community?
  3. What are the negative internal scripts you say about yourself and your identity?

Once you have told the truth about these questions in your journal or within a safe space, you will have a deeper understanding of what narrative is yours and what belongs to your dysfunctional environment. Join me and a group of other healing sista’s at the sista circle to share, heal and explore solutions to honour and nurture your blackalicious beauty!

For more details of links in this training go to www.heal.juneallen.net

For the Rise of the Sacred Sista class go to www.rise.juneallen.net

How to deal with a mother that doesn’t support your happiness.

It’s devastating when the women who is supposed to be cheering you on cannot. This can leave wounded daughters with shame and low self worth. In this webclass I share reasons why your mother behaves this way and then I share 5 ways to take care of yourself in this situation.

  1. Self nurturing /parenting.
  2. Be mindful of what you share and boundary the deeper conversations that feel unsafe. 
  3. Think about what you would do if a sista friend behaved the same way. Use your answer to set new boundaries.
  4. Love her from a distance. 
  5. Build your village of mums,  friends and support systems on and offline.

All the relevant links in the class can be found at www.heal.juneallen.net