5 Reasons Why Your Absent Father Can’t Hear Your Pain.

With UK Fathers Day around the corner, I’ve seen alot posts with anxious wounded daughters feeling sad about their absent fathers. When I talk about being absent, its not just about being physically absent, but also about being emotionally absent. Today, I’m sharing 5 Reasons why your dad can’t hear you.

  1. In order to empathise with your pain, he has to be connected to his own and he may not be ready for that.
  2. He may not be ready to face the consequences of the pain he has caused you. Apologies require the responsibility to take action and show up in the relationship with you and for himself.
  3. He may feel a lot of shame about his behavior which means this chronic sense of unworthiness will keep him triggered and feeling undeserving of having a relationship with his daughter.
  4. If he’s an addict and in active addiction it will be hard for him to see beyond his acting out behaviours.
  5. If he lacks the emotional maturity and is really disconnected from himself, he will continue to use you as a scapegoat to dump his feelings.

Watch the free web class below for tools and support.

‘How can I embrace black beauty when I’m tired of feeling ugly?’

It’s difficult to love our blackness when we’re constantly being fed that we’re ugly via the system of racism. In this webclass, I break down the truths you need to explore to reclaim your body and celebrate your black femininity.

  1. Where did you learn/internalise that blackness was ugly?
  2. How was racism internalised and acted out as self hate in your family/community?
  3. What are the negative internal scripts you say about yourself and your identity?

Once you have told the truth about these questions in your journal or within a safe space, you will have a deeper understanding of what narrative is yours and what belongs to your dysfunctional environment. Join me and a group of other healing sista’s at the sista circle to share, heal and explore solutions to honour and nurture your blackalicious beauty!

For more details of links in this training go to www.heal.juneallen.net

For the Rise of the Sacred Sista class go to www.rise.juneallen.net

How to deal with a mother that doesn’t support your happiness.

It’s devastating when the women who is supposed to be cheering you on cannot. This can leave wounded daughters with shame and low self worth. In this webclass I share reasons why your mother behaves this way and then I share 5 ways to take care of yourself in this situation.

  1. Self nurturing /parenting.
  2. Be mindful of what you share and boundary the deeper conversations that feel unsafe. 
  3. Think about what you would do if a sista friend behaved the same way. Use your answer to set new boundaries.
  4. Love her from a distance. 
  5. Build your village of mums,  friends and support systems on and offline.

All the relevant links in the class can be found at www.heal.juneallen.net

10 Reasons To NOT Join The Wounded Daughters Mastermind?

Hey Fam,

Not long now before the cart closes for the mastermind. I’ve had a lot of sista’s in my inbox so I know you really want this but I also know many of you are still scared to commit.  There’s something blocking you from taking the action you need to heal.

The concept of dealing with maternal abuse is challenging, but with tools and a sistahood network, it will change the game around how you see and take care of yourself.

Sometimes, I’m so passionate about serving the community and telling the whole, painful truth about this process that I sometimes forget the empowering things that happen as a result of healing!  I’ve also had some great feedback about some things that may be stopping you so I’ve combined the two in an audio, first lets have a look at the blocks, sound familiar?

  1. My life won’t get better unless my mother changes her behavior? 
  2. She’s also victim and I don’t want to dis-honour her?  
  3. I don’t want no family drama!
  4. I was always taught not to chat my business!
  5. No one will understand my situation.
  6. I already have enough on my plate!
  7. I ain’t doing 6 weeks of trauma! 
  8. I’m scared of the change.
  9. Will I be dumped after 6 weeks of getting vulnerable?
  10. I just can’t afford it!

The audio will address these issues and give you all the empowering reasons to step out in faith and love on your beautiful black self.

Listen to the audio here.

sign up at www.mastermind.juneallen.net

 

 

YOG34: The Seven Keys to Black Empowerment: #7 Service.

*Trigger Warning : This podcast contains adult discussions about sexual abuse.*

Greetings Family,

This final key to black empowerment is all about service and it’s gonna blow you away!

I’m sharing the platform with Tamar Nwafor, a wife, mother and multiple business owner who fled Jamaica in 1999 from domestic violence and sexual abuse. With a mother unable to protect her, she became involved in drugs and gang violence, but this power house made a commitment to heal and is now serving the community by sharing her experience, strength and expertise to help others.

Woooi…..When sista’s get together, fire bruk out!

Be Empowered!

 

You can contact Sista Tamar and her fabulous businesses below.

www.gage.org.co.uk  Business development.

www.kingsandqueensunited.com   Dating site for melanin rich singles.

For details about the women’s support group,

email ladylionesstamar@gmail.com or call her on 07947839949

Sista Tamar will also be part of Build Your Blacknificence  My wounded daughters mastermind to heal from maternal abuse. The registration doors close on Sunday 11th March 2018 at midnight London time. Join us here.

 

 

YOG33: The 7 Keys to Black Empowerment: #6 Respect The Process.

Greetings Fam,

I can’t believe we only have 2 more sessions to go!

In this session we’re talking about respecting the process.  Healing is a commitment to loving yourself one day at a time, to realign your wholeness. There’s no quick fix or motivational fluff that is going to absolve you of the responsibility of doing the internal work. If you’re brave enough and open to being vulnerable, the rewards are endless!

Listen up

links mentioned in this episode www.daughters.juneallen.net

YOG32: The 7 Keys To Black Empowerment: #5 Setting Boundaries

Greetings Fam,

We’re continuing our conversation to find the 7 Keys To Black Empowerment. The 5th key is all about setting boundaries. If you don’t know what does and doesn’t work for you, you make yourself vulnerable to abuse.

In this session I explores the difference between social, external and internal  boundaries. I also share how practicing them must be the foundation for our emotional emancipation and personal empowerment!

Enjoy!

www.daughters.juneallen.net

Healing from racism through personal empowerment and the 12 steps of recovery.

 

Letting Go

One of the hardest things about the healing process is letting go of control.

Many of us have experienced so much pain, that our lives have become a compulsive mission to control everything around us so that we feel safe.

We’re desperate to feel secure because our wiring has been all chaos, unpredictability and mistrust. Staying in this fear driven space feeds our insanity because we cannot possibly control everything and everyone.

I’m hearing a lot of Sista’s sharing the pain about their abusive mothers and the powerless yearning they feel around the hurtful behavior.

You’re looking for answers, solutions and understanding as to how you can control your mothers abuse and end your pain. The truth is, you can’t.

The only solution is to let go of control and surrender to taking care of yourself. Surrendering doesn’t mean being her doormat, it literally means to stop fighting. To step back, breathe and stop fighting with yourself. To stop resisting and pushing back against the reality of what is going on in your body at this very moment as a result.

Letting go doesn’t mean that feelings of control will disappear, it just means that your willingness to surrender will redirect this energy towards actions that focus on you.

Today, I will let go and surrender to the truth of where I am in this moment.

 

Till next time,

With Blackalicious love.

June x

Links mentioned in this episode: www.daughters.juneallen.net