The Drift

The drift happens when we don’t have a vision for our lives. We go from one day to the next reacting to what’s required of us in each moment.
Under white supremacy, we feel powerless over the oppression and lose site of who we are. Our core sacredness gets buried under the rubble of relantless trauma and abuse,
In recovery, we commit to a new life of cultural intimacy. Today, I will not sit on the sidelines of my life. I will make one choice that will liberate me from the war within myself.

Empowerment Seeds

Most of us want to heal from the impact of racism. We want the confidence, relationships and racial sobriety that blooms on the road to wholeness.
Trouble is, many of us may not get this. Not because we don’t deserve it, but because we don’t want to respect the process. We’re trying to walk the path on our own terms and don’t want to release the people, places or things which sabotage our healing.
Malcolm X says that, ‘Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss contains its own seed, it’s own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.”
There is no fast track to avoid the pain that comes with your growth. Just for today, use the pain as a powerful tool to learn where love needs to be seeded.
Affirmation: I nurture the seeds that will set me free.
#sundayserenity

Self Compassion

One of the characteristics of being out of alignment, is when we lose touch with our humanity. With the endless demands of life and the exhaustion of living under white supremacy, we’re numb to our own basic needs. The result is that we become trapped in the doing instead of staying present in the being.
As black women, we’re taught to nurture everyone else. We’ve become the mules  of the world and a lot of us do this in chronic emotional pain and isolation. In my wounded daughters series, I also talk about the added stress of having to navigate the challenges of maternal abuse.
When we practice self compassion, we seed the reconnection to our humanness. As we accept the truth about where we are, we can begin to make healthier choices about how our needs can be met.  In today’s podcast, I’m sharing 3 ways to practice revolutionary self compassion.
Till next time
With Blackalicious Love
June x

When is the right time to start your healing?

‘The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. – Alice Walker.
We’re already at the end of January and hopefully, happy holidays have faded into the distance. However, if you’re still seething from the savage reminder of the pain still being recycled around you, how long are you willing to avoid looking at the cost of your denial in these relationships?
How long are you willing to accept unhappiness, because you’re trapped in the pain of uncertainty? When is going to be the right time to start doing the heart work?
January is the time we make promises with good intentions about the changes we want in our lives. We’re tired of dragging around the same old dysfunction and make endless promises to align our expectations with idealistic perfection.
We say what we want,  we understand why we want it, but fail to have an honest dialog about HOW we’re actually going to get it. January is done and real life has settled in so we slip back into the same coping strategies we used to avoid the pain of living in our truth.
Now we’re soaked in the shame of falling off the empowerment wagon again, and again, and again. When is going to be the right time to ask for help?
Procrastinated tomorrows only poison your legacy and trap you inside the unheard pain of today. Extracting dysfunction doesn’t have to wind you from being present in everyday life. Your transformation can take place in a cultural village nurtured through tenderness, understanding and patience.
In recovery, we learn that change doesn’t happen through annual declarations and willpower. We gently take our time to work the program and use the tools to take the next compassionate step, from one moment to the next. There is never a right time to start doing the heart work, you just have to decide and then take action.  Now. In this moment. No matter how small.
Today, I am willing to admit powerlessness over my fear of change. The longer I stay in denial, the more my life and relationships become unmanageable.
Affirmation: I am worthy of healing. I choose to ask for help from those who have walked the path before me.
With Blackalicious love.
June x

You Folks Are So Kind :)

Greetings! I hope the day finds you well.

I’ve had some lovely messages from some of you on social media, and thought it would be nice to share them here. It’s always great getting feedback because this work is not easy, and I’m always mindful to deliver my best practices with truth and tenderness. When I get the feedback I do, it’s a great reminder that I am on the right track with my vision to serve you. Here are the screen shots, I particularly love the one written in patois. Have a blessed and beautiful day. 😊

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Will you support our black psychotherapy students so they can serve you?

Hey Mindful Yardies, I hope the day finds you well? I came across this campaign recently which is really close to my heart and had to share it with you to see if you can help?

Training to become a psychotherapist is an incredibly difficult path. Not only because you’re required to bare your soul as part of the process, but as a black person, you also have to navigate the racial dynamics inside a system which still has a long way to go in serving the needs of people of colour.

To address this issue, Eugene Ellis, founded  the Black and Asian Therapists Network (BAATN). The project provides mutual support for practicing therapists, along with an amazing platform to meet the therapeutic needs of  our community. I have used their services both  personally and professionally as part of my ongoing psychotherapy training.  It has been an amazing community to safely explore and identify with others regarding the challenges of racism inside these learning institutions.

In building the future of BAATN, the project needs your support  today to address the high drop-out rate of students in training by offering an  ‘Each One Teach One’ mentorship programme. The project has already been running for a few years but needs a boost and there are only a few days left to pledge!

Please give what you can, our community needs to support these new therapists so we can provide the services you deserve!

 

Emotional wealth is my birthright. – Yard Reflections 01

stand-in-truth

The true meaning of wealth has been lost under the guise of cash hustle, generational assets and shiny, big ticket trinkets. In our aggressive pursuit of wealth, we can get stuck in the fantasy that having more, means that we are more.

Emotional wealth on the other hand, is a deeper level of understanding and ownership of our emotions. When we’re emotionally wealthy, our life has meaning. We can love fiercely and grieve deeply. We stand in our truth, even if it sometimes means standing alone. We nurture our sense of worthiness and receive abundance in all its forms.

As a consequence of our abusive racial history, many of us did not inherit healthy tools for nurturing our emotional wealth. Instead, we were passed down dysfunctional legacies of shame, disconnection and anger. We were robbed of our ability to be happy in the enmeshed expectations and demands of others.

We all deserve the right to thrive in an environment which mirrors our commitment to abundant personal growth.  In our culture of denial and avoidance, many of us are afraid to feel our feelings, but sharing in a safe space can help us understand our pain, and open the door to relief, wisdom and clarity. When our inner circle is emotionally broke, we can give ourselves permission to detach with love and move forward with those committed to change.

Emotional wealth is the root where all riches are seeded. To be happy, we must protect and nurture it like a savings account. Regularly deposit positive emotions and cultural experiences to build racial esteem. Be mindful of any people, systems or things trying to make unauthorised withdrawals. We cannot control the behavior of those trying to get access, but we have full control over how we respond and take care of our account.

Fearless ownership of our emotions means that our happiness becomes a magnet for abundant financial wealth in its purest form. When we commit to taking better care of ourselves, we also create a legacy of racial serenity, strength and empowerment within our family and the community.

Today, I claim my right to happiness, just as I am. In this moment, I own my feelings and choose some loving actions to nurture my well being.

And so it is.

Till next time

June. aka Mindful Yardie

If you enjoyed today’s Yard Reflections and think it may empower someone, please share it with a friend or on your social media.

www.juneallen.net