Greetings! I hope the day finds you well.
I’ve had some lovely messages from some of you on social media, and thought it would be nice to share them here. It’s always great getting feedback because this work is not easy, and I’m always mindful to deliver my best practices with truth and tenderness. When I get the feedback I do, it’s a great reminder that I am on the right track with my vision to serve you. Here are the screen shots, I particularly love the one written in patois. Have a blessed and beautiful day. 😊
Hey Mindful Yardies, I hope the day finds you well? I came across this campaign recently which is really close to my heart and had to share it with you to see if you can help?
Training to become a psychotherapist is an incredibly difficult path. Not only because you’re required to bare your soul as part of the process, but as a black person, you also have to navigate the racial dynamics inside a system which still has a long way to go in serving the needs of people of colour.
To address this issue, Eugene Ellis, founded the Black and Asian Therapists Network (BAATN). The project provides mutual support for practicing therapists, along with an amazing platform to meet the therapeutic needs of our community. I have used their services both personally and professionally as part of my ongoing psychotherapy training. It has been an amazing community to safely explore and identify with others regarding the challenges of racism inside these learning institutions.
In building the future of BAATN, the project needs your support today to address the high drop-out rate of students in training by offering an ‘Each One Teach One’ mentorship programme. The project has already been running for a few years but needs a boost and there are only a few days left to pledge!
Please give what you can, our community needs to support these new therapists so we can provide the services you deserve!
The true meaning of wealth has been lost under the guise of cash hustle, generational assets and shiny, big ticket trinkets. In our aggressive pursuit of wealth, we can get stuck in the fantasy that having more, means that we are more.
Emotional wealth on the other hand, is a deeper level of understanding and ownership of our emotions. When we’re emotionally wealthy, our life has meaning. We can love fiercely and grieve deeply. We stand in our truth, even if it sometimes means standing alone. We nurture our sense of worthiness and receive abundance in all its forms.
As a consequence of our abusive racial history, many of us did not inherit healthy tools for nurturing our emotional wealth. Instead, we were passed down dysfunctional legacies of shame, disconnection and anger. We were robbed of our ability to be happy in the enmeshed expectations and demands of others.
We all deserve the right to thrive in an environment which mirrors our commitment to abundant personal growth. In our culture of denial and avoidance, many of us are afraid to feel our feelings, but sharing in a safe space can help us understand our pain, and open the door to relief, wisdom and clarity. When our inner circle is emotionally broke, we can give ourselves permission to detach with love and move forward with those committed to change.
Emotional wealth is the root where all riches are seeded. To be happy, we must protect and nurture it like a savings account. Regularly deposit positive emotions and cultural experiences to build racial esteem. Be mindful of any people, systems or things trying to make unauthorised withdrawals. We cannot control the behavior of those trying to get access, but we have full control over how we respond and take care of our account.
Fearless ownership of our emotions means that our happiness becomes a magnet for abundant financial wealth in its purest form. When we commit to taking better care of ourselves, we also create a legacy of racial serenity, strength and empowerment within our family and the community.
Today, I claim my right to happiness, just as I am. In this moment, I own my feelings and choose some loving actions to nurture my well being.
And so it is.
Till next time
June. aka Mindful Yardie
If you enjoyed today’s Yard Reflections and think it may empower someone, please share it with a friend or on your social media.
On the 3 June 2016, the great Muhammad Ali became an esteemed ancestor. He not only left a blaze of sporting excellence inside the boxing ring, but also a glorious legacy of truth and integrity inside the black struggle. What I adore most about the Champ, was his commitment to speaking up about racial injustice at a time when black leaders were regularly being murdered by the government for doing so. Despite this, he remained fearless and consistent in fighting to free his people.
It was only when I became pregnant that I really started to think seriously about legacy, and what I was doing with my life. What did I inherit? What behaviours would I teach inside our connection, and what wealth would she inherit when I pass? I thought about my slave legacy, the disastrous relationships, my financial illiteracy, and fears and vague notion of values. I knew they were not in line with what I wanted from life, or hers, and then set about writing a plan to build the internal foundation from which to build an abundant legacy my own.
Defining your values.
Creating a legacy requires taking consistent actions in line with your values. Values are defined as the personal principles and standards of behaviour by which you live. I found it helpful at first be really clear about what my values were, so I’ve created a worksheet for you in the next post about values, for your own clear definitions. Your life decisions will become so much clearer when you know what you stand for. Get your partner and children involved also, it will be a much more powerful exercise if you do this as a team effort.
Fill in the gaps.
Once you’ve completed the worksheet and are clearer about what’s important, you should be able to see any gaps, similarities or differences between the values you may or may not have with your friends and extended family. It’s OK for them to be different and neither party is right or wrong. It just means that you’re giving yourself permission to be your own person and/or family unit. You want to start taking responsibility for the new vision you have for your life.
Dream and execute.
Now that you have more of idea of your vision, you can start brainstorming ways to create the life and legacy you want to build. Plan and think consciously about how you can integrate your values into everyday life. Dream big, start small, but be consistent. When I did mine, I realised that I wanted to create a daily morning devotional time for spiritual connection, which honours my ancestors and African spirituality. It took me a little while to write, and I still tweak it occasionally, but we now spend 30 minutes in the morning with a short preamble, a libation ritual, prayers, meditation, a gratitude list and affirmations to close. My daughter absolutely loves this ritual as it creates a wonderful space for intimacy, positive cultural connection and a peaceful springboard which sets us all up for the day.
Before Mohammad Ali died, I was still a little anxious about sharing my black thoughts, because I regularly see successful black entrepreneurs being racially abused during live broadcasts, and none of them even talk specifically about racism. However, after seeing so much recent footage of Ali showing up in his fearless glory, I know I must do what is right and not hide inside the fear. I want my daughter to be proud of me for practicing the same depth of integrity. She also needs to be equipped with the tools to maintain her own racial wellness, so I want her to see the tangible actions I take to produce justice and not be all talk.
My commitment to the ongoing black struggle, is to continue to share my experience, hope and truth with a view to building a movement with tangible tools for empowerment and emotional wealth. This, I hope will liberate the individual minds of black people; to heal and build a legacy of greatness for themselves and the community.
Every decision you make is another opportunity to build your own legacy. Any pain underneath your why will make you unstoppable. I don’t weep for the death of Ali, I take inspiration from his shining example of what it means to really live a life of purpose. Today he has been laid to rest and my thoughts are with his family. Rest well Champ, you will always be the greatest!