Addiction is a Family Disease

I’ve been a little quiet over the last few days, because it was my late brothers birthday on the 7th of September. After many years of substance abuse, he died aged 46.
Many of us don’t understand addiction, and are quick to judge those who act out with drink, drugs, food, sex or any other behaviours that sabotage our ability to show up and shine in our greatness.
For black folks, addiction is a cultural disease rooted in a desperate need to escape the vulnerability of our blackness. We carry the scars of slavery and todays oppression which vilifies our melanin magic.
Without a revolutionary program of gentleness, healing and compassion, our people will continue to recycle their pain by hurting ourselves and each other.
The last conversation I had with my brother was painful because he was high and incoherent.
I felt powerless over his suffering.
I was scared of getting THAT phone call. That my sobriety could not save him.
In recovery, I learned to let go of the guilt of not being able to end his misery. Today, I honor him by sharing the power of racial sobriety with those who are willing and able to do the work.
Healing begins when we accept that we cannot control how others choose to manage their pain. We let go of trying to save those we love, and focus on healing ourselves.
Today, I will not abandon myself in the compulsive need to rescue others. My recovery and healing must always come first.
……………
 In this previous podcast, I  talk more openly about my brothers addiction and how his death continues to keep me sober and serving the community.

To get started on your journey to racial sobriety, go to www.sobriety.juneallen.net
 for your free course with 7 powerful masterclasses.

Fill Your Cup

Today’s #sundayserenity,

Many of us are dry vessels desperately waiting, hoping and pleading with unavailable loved ones to fill us up. We share our pain, our emptiness and struggle hoping their response will make us feel worthy, whole and nourished.

This painful yearning cycle means our happiness always remains in the hands of others. Unchecked, our unmet needs seed anger, resentment and shame.

As we heal from within, we learn how to replenish our own inner well. In embracing our Higher self and the wisdom of our ancestors, we find an oasis of melanin love, self compassion and confidence that has always been at our core.

Just for today, I will remember that I am responsible for my nourishment, my greatness, my black girl joy. In this moment, I will chose actions that nurture my Highest Self.

For daily inspiration, fun and empowerment tools, join me on Instagram.

 

 

Courage

Courage builds character. It’s a revolutionary love that drives our actions through fear. Courage comes from the Latin word cor which means heart, and doing the heartwork is what seeds miracles.

With a legacy where pain is fused with identity, healing is damn, hard work. We need the courage to face ourselves, to ask for help, to stop keeping the secrets that keep us sick, to love and be loved by those who, on the outside, mirror those who brought us the most pain.

Through the years of vicious self hate, I absorbed the pain of others. I blamed myself for the abuse and deprived myself of the right to thrive in love.

With courage as my superpower, I found the strength to break the patterns passed from massa’s cruel plantations. As I built a village with those who healed before me, I was able to love on my people in a way I never thought possible.   

Sometimes, the best version of ourselves can only shine under pressure, and courage, like coal, makes diamonds.

 

Enjoy this piece? It’s taken from a free ebook which you can download at:  7 Steps to Unlock Your Sista Superpowers.

The Power of Solitude

In a world that rewards the hustle,

many feel that solitude is wasted time.

As superwomen, we werk our capes

and ram each ‘should’ and ‘have to,’

in what little, precious time our days will bare.

Solitude honours the truth.

It lifts the veil on how we feel about ourselves when no one’s watching.

She doesn’t lie, or tell us what we want to hear.

She’ll open the window on toxic fantasy

and hold up the mirror which demands empathy.

This superpower serves it straight.

I suffered with chronic doing for years to avoid the backlog of pain I carried beneath it.

I was scared of what I would feel, if I allowed myself to pause.

When I gave myself permission to face the quiet,

it was a relief to let the sacred, stillness, speak.

Solitude is the superpower that calms the storm between our humanity and our spirituality.

In the Sacred Sista Reset Experience, I share a simple tool to nurture this relationship.

As we honor its presence, we’ll move from anorexic isolation to honoring our divinity.

 

Enjoy this piece? It’s taken from a free ebook which you can download at:  7 Steps to Unlock Your Sista Superpowers.

Sunday Serenity: Superpower Sobriety

Racial Sobriety is the superpower that rebuilds our lives from the inside out. Our experience is filtered through the lens of self compassionate, instead of endless bleeding from the wounds of chronic black shame.

Addiction is not just about the drink and drugs, it’s any compulsive behavior that allows us to escape the pain of living in reality. In our desperate powerlessness, we use the people, places and things to numb the suffering inside the truth.

Racism is the compulsive abuse of power and melanin, is the trigger. In recovery, I learned that I’m powerless over those who practice white supremacy, but have the power to choose how I respond.

Have you experienced racism in the rooms? Are you new to this concept and want to know where to begin? After years of experience, strength and hope in my own recovery process. I created the The Racial Sobriety Starter Guide to share the tools and strategies to support you with yours.

‘Racial sobriety is loving yourself so much that, that racism becomes irrelevant.’

 

This reading was taken from the FREE Starter Guide 7 Steps to Unlock Your Sista Superpowers 

 

 

The Drift

The drift happens when we don’t have a vision for our lives. We go from one day to the next reacting to what’s required of us in each moment.
Under white supremacy, we feel powerless over the oppression and lose site of who we are. Our core sacredness gets buried under the rubble of relantless trauma and abuse,
In recovery, we commit to a new life of cultural intimacy. Today, I will not sit on the sidelines of my life. I will make one choice that will liberate me from the war within myself.

Empowerment Seeds

Most of us want to heal from the impact of racism. We want the confidence, relationships and racial sobriety that blooms on the road to wholeness.
Trouble is, many of us may not get this. Not because we don’t deserve it, but because we don’t want to respect the process. We’re trying to walk the path on our own terms and don’t want to release the people, places or things which sabotage our healing.
Malcolm X says that, ‘Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss contains its own seed, it’s own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.”
There is no fast track to avoid the pain that comes with your growth. Just for today, use the pain as a powerful tool to learn where love needs to be seeded.
Affirmation: I nurture the seeds that will set me free.
#sundayserenity

Self Compassion

One of the characteristics of being out of alignment, is when we lose touch with our humanity. With the endless demands of life and the exhaustion of living under white supremacy, we’re numb to our own basic needs. The result is that we become trapped in the doing instead of staying present in the being.
As black women, we’re taught to nurture everyone else. We’ve become the mules  of the world and a lot of us do this in chronic emotional pain and isolation. In my wounded daughters series, I also talk about the added stress of having to navigate the challenges of maternal abuse.
When we practice self compassion, we seed the reconnection to our humanness. As we accept the truth about where we are, we can begin to make healthier choices about how our needs can be met.  In today’s podcast, I’m sharing 3 ways to practice revolutionary self compassion.
Till next time
With Blackalicious Love
June x

When is the right time to start your healing?

‘The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. – Alice Walker.
We’re already at the end of January and hopefully, happy holidays have faded into the distance. However, if you’re still seething from the savage reminder of the pain still being recycled around you, how long are you willing to avoid looking at the cost of your denial in these relationships?
How long are you willing to accept unhappiness, because you’re trapped in the pain of uncertainty? When is going to be the right time to start doing the heart work?
January is the time we make promises with good intentions about the changes we want in our lives. We’re tired of dragging around the same old dysfunction and make endless promises to align our expectations with idealistic perfection.
We say what we want,  we understand why we want it, but fail to have an honest dialog about HOW we’re actually going to get it. January is done and real life has settled in so we slip back into the same coping strategies we used to avoid the pain of living in our truth.
Now we’re soaked in the shame of falling off the empowerment wagon again, and again, and again. When is going to be the right time to ask for help?
Procrastinated tomorrows only poison your legacy and trap you inside the unheard pain of today. Extracting dysfunction doesn’t have to wind you from being present in everyday life. Your transformation can take place in a cultural village nurtured through tenderness, understanding and patience.
In recovery, we learn that change doesn’t happen through annual declarations and willpower. We gently take our time to work the program and use the tools to take the next compassionate step, from one moment to the next. There is never a right time to start doing the heart work, you just have to decide and then take action.  Now. In this moment. No matter how small.
Today, I am willing to admit powerlessness over my fear of change. The longer I stay in denial, the more my life and relationships become unmanageable.
Affirmation: I am worthy of healing. I choose to ask for help from those who have walked the path before me.
With Blackalicious love.
June x