I thoroughly enjoyed this rich, cultural, playful and passionate conversation with Nigel Stewart. We talked about his early entrepreneur roots, the legacy of healing for our community, politics and negotiating whiteness. I also asked him, is it lovers rock or bashment? fried or boiled dumplin? 🤣🤣 and of course we talked all about how to get the best out of the African Health and Wellbeing Day. One of my fave live streams to date!Enjoy!
If you are in 12 step recovery or think you might be addicted, these 7 essentials will help you navigate the healing process in the recovery rooms as a person of colour.
- You need to educate yourself to understand the psychology of racism.
- Be honest about the impact of racism on your life. You can’t change what you don’t understand about yourself.
- Explore the dysfunctional/ addictive survival patterns you used to avoid your pain.
- Use your tools, cultural top and bottom lines will keep you safe and build racial self esteem.
- Keep yourself safe from 13th step predetors, especially if you are new to recovery.
- Build your support network and be mindful of how interracial sponsorship or therapy could block your healing.
- For all my seasoned fellows in recovery, start your own POC meeting in your primary fellowship. The mirroring and identification is beyond powerful!
Watch the free webclass below for a deeper breakdown. Go to www.racialsobrietyrooms.com to get your ticket to the conference.
Hey, Hey Sacred Sista,
If you’ve been on the fence about joining the circle, you’re in for a treat today! I’m giving you a sneek peep inside the what, the why and the how of this blackalicious sacred space. In this podcast episode, I share the step by step process through the session and why sista’s are returning to continue their journey to wholeness. Topics include:
How does black self hate show up in your behavior?
How to use the tools for empoWOMBent.
Defining self love, how do you know when you love yourself?
Why Sista sharing boundaries are crucial for building trust.
The power of cultural meditation.
Click below to listen to this episode.
To join the circle click below.
This weekend (8th December) will be the 3rd Sacred Sista Circle Book Club where we study, ‘Sista’s of The Yam: Black Women and Self Recovery.’ By Bell Hooks.
I have to say that I’ve had several emotional moments being in the space where sista’s felt safe enough to begin sharing their truth and finding themselves. I feel so grateful to be trusted, not with telling them what to do, but in showing them where to look. Where to find their divinity often buried beneath the rubble of unheard black pain. It takes courage to keep showing up and keep taking these emotional risks, but we do it to change our painful pasts, to draw a line under our recycled, generational shame.
It’s an exciting time to start doing this work because so many of us understand the importance of having these safe boundaried spaces for black women, to be heard and seen for who they are without apology. This space really is sacred because:
- Seeing someone who looks like you share there experience and being able to identify builds trust and nurtures hope. Melanin reflections matter.
- Talking about the internal solutions to our collective struggles helps us feel empowered to begin seeding the change in our lives.
- Boundaries play a core role in the space which allows your experience to be witnessed without judgement, shame or minimising. This opens up the space for more truth telling and connects us as a sistahood and community.
Thank you to the beautiful sista’s who continue to allow me to be part of their healing journey; and for those of you watching on the sidelines, we’re hear for you when you’re ready to join us.
For details of how you can join the Sista Circle Book Club in person and virtual, go to www.sistacircle.juneallen.net
- Do it first – Make self love a priority.
- Do it slowly! Loving yourself can feel uncomfortable if you’re not used to it, so do it slowly so you can learn about yourself with presence #babystepsmatter.
- Do it with feeling – You can only heal through feeling your way through the healing process. Use your sacred sista time to identify what feelings come up and observe how you respond. This awareness will help your needs.
- Do it scared – Change is uncomfortable which is why it’s important to be clear about your why. Why do you want to love yourself? How will you life change as you do? Feel that fear and do it anyway.
- Do it regardless – Sometimes the people close to you won’t like the boundaries that come with self love because it often means saying no to them! As you learn to love yourself, you will attract those who will honor your new found self respect.
- Do it with others – Find a safe sista space to share, identify and heal as a community.
- Do it again – Repeat the experiences with people, places and things that nurture your self love.
- Do it with gratitude – Pump up the gratitude by focusing on how you FEEL about something you are grateful for. Remember how far you have come.
- Do it with patience – Healing, learning and changing is exhausting so take your time.
- Do it with love – Be kind and gentle. Forgive yourself as many times as you need to be forgiven.
The greatest act of self love is changed behavior. If you would like support and tools for more self love, join us for this months Sacred Sista Circle Book Club. Click the link below to get your tickets.
‘A wounded daughters acceptance of her mother’s inability to love requires willingness and courage. Willingness to accept the truth about her mothers limitations and courage to change the way she responds without self blame.’
This quote is an exert from a series of empowerment training’s I’m writing to honor the wounded daughters of abusive black mothers.
We cannot have honest conversations about wanting to end white supremacy, until we’re ready to raise our hands and do the healing work required to free ourselves internally.
I still have moments of pain and grief around my mother’s behavior, but I stay committed to the healing work because greatness is my birthright.
I also want a loving, mother experience for my little Plaintain, Zuri. 🙂
The more I learn and speak, the more I understand the suffering in the community.
I want you to know that you are not alone.
There is hope.
When you empower a women you empower a nation.
You spoke, I listened.
Today, I’m sharing an opportunity for wounded daughters to have a compassionate, non-judgmental space to explore this topic and begin to find peace. Details are below.
I have x2 radio shows to share with you today from my appearances on the C.O.W.S. radios show with Gus T Renegade. In this first show, we support a women who’s child is experiencing racism from his classmate. The panel share constructive tools and support with some powerful suggestions for counter racist parenting. Click the pic to get the details.
In the second show, we talk about the horrific fire at Grenfell Tower in London. Listen by clicking the pic below.
Here is the recent C.O.W.S (concept of white supremacy) show recording where I am on the global guest panel every 3rd week of the month. In this session, I am thrilled that Gus chosen to feature my podcast The Black Steps, and I get the opportunity to discuss the link between racism and addiction. We also talk about being abandoned by white ‘friends’ when the subject of racism is raised, along with the Obama’s leaving office and the global reactions to Trump taking over. Click the pic below to listen. It’s dated the 15 January 2017 and the title is the ‘Global Sunday Talk on Racism.’
OMG I am so excited, I have to tell you about this recent win! It’s been confirmed this week that I will now be a regular monthly guest on the global panel for the C.O.W.S Radio show with Gus T. Renegade. I have been invited on for the last few months and I really enjoyed it, so this next step makes complete sense. This is a huge opportunity to serve more and spread the message of hope and racial sobriety. I will also be working with Gus on the Isis Papers book club project which is really exciting. I am humbled to be in a position to do this and I’m intrigued to see how this abundant, empowering adventure from RA will continue to manifest. You can keep track of all the radio programs I attend in the ‘Radio Events’ category.
Thanks for sharing this journey with me.
Greetings fam, This Is A Yardie First!
I was asked to be part of an international group of callers from outside the US on the Concept of White Supremacy radio show (C.O.W.S) with Gus T. Renegade. It was his monthly Sunday global talk about Racism. I really enjoyed being on the panel and I talked a lot more than I thought I would considering I was so nervous beforehand. I was so conscious of talking too much at one point, I had to shut myself up! We talked about Black History Month, racism and black parenting etc. I also was able to share for the first time about my upcoming book club launch next year honouring Dr Francis Cress- Welsing. You can register your interest at www.theisispapersbookclub.com It is terrifying doing all this stuff for the first time, but I also, absolutely love this process and the transformation I am experiencing being more visible as a black business women. Thank you all for your support and here is the interview recorded on Sunday 16 October 2016. The title of the show ‘Global Sunday Talk on Racism’ here is the replay.