Weaponised Forgiveness?

June Allen

Weaponised forgiveness for wounded daughters is a term used to describe the manipulation of forgiveness as a means to silence victims of harm, particularly daughters who have experienced maternal abuse. This concept is crucial to address as it stagnates our healing and allows the mother to maintain control over her daughter. By understanding the dynamics of weaponised forgiveness, we can begin to challenge its impact and explore healthier avenues for healing this part our our black mother wound.

 

What is the black mother wound?

June Allen

In this weeks live, we explore the concept of the “black mother wound” and it’s significance in the black woman’s suffering.

Using an intercultural lens means breaking down this theory into three circles. The inner circle focuses on how the wound has impacted the relationship with yourself, the next circle layer will explore the relational power dynamics with your mother and the 3rd outer circle involves exploring the historical context of slavery and the Windrush generation to unpack how this impacts the intergenerational mother wound.

If you relate and feel ready to join me for the deeper work, there is still time to get your early bird ticket for Managing Mothers Day   a half day, in-person retreat where we’ll explore the black mother wound and how to deal with the complexities of Mothers Day when you have a challenging relationship with her. To balance the experience, there will also be a chill space after the healing circle to play, craft and chat.

Are you self silencing?

June Allen

Self-silencing has been coming up a lot in session with my clients this week, and many are beginning to recognise the devastating consequences of this suppression on their mental and physical health. This behaviour has often been learned as a defense mechanism to keep us safe when a relationship or social environment has proved unsafe and punishing when we speak up.

Black women have also been taught inside systems of oppression that our voices don’t matter, we’re suppose to just suck up our pain and crack on with things no matter how much we’re being abused.  It then makes sense why we become angry but can’t articulate why because we have a lifetime of unmet needs in a pressure cooker that has been slammed shut.

The healing process is about working with sista’s to explore the relationship they have with their voice. Some struggle to articulate their needs because the’re so numb and others find great relief in discharging the feelings and unburdening secrets that have kept them suffering for so long.

The black mother wound keeps a lot of folks in cycles of shame, guilt and fear of further rejection so self silencing is how we try and keep the peace, meanwhile there’s a war raging inside that robs us of our integrity and ability to show up in relationships as codependency takes root and becomes how we relate. For details on healing your mother wound go to www.heal.juneallen.net  Do you relate to self silencing?

Did the holidays bring you out of denial?

June Allen

Did the holidays drag you out of denial?

January can be a tough time if you recently spent time with challenging family members. Any festive fantasies you had before may now be shattered by the harsh reality of the pain you’re in now, feeling confused, ashamed and alone with the powerlessness of their limitations.

 If you relate, I see you.  You are not alone, I see you. In today’s live, I share how you can deal with the pain of coming out of denial.

Sistahood and your Heart.

June Allen

With the next Sista Sanctuary session happening on Tuesday evening, I want to give you a sneak peep at some of the heartwork questions we’ll be exploring in this live session.

The theme is Unity in Sistahood and in todays live I explore 4 of the questions we’ll do a deeper dive in on Tuesday…

    1. Am I giving enough attention to nurturing and maintaining the sista relationships that matter most to me?

    2. How do relationships with my family of origin impact how I show up in friendships with other black women?

    3. Do I find it hard to let other black women care for me? Why?

    4. How do I envision my ideal inner circle and the role of sistahood in my life? What steps can I take to move closer to this vision.

Umoja (Unity) in sistahood.

June Allen

My inspiration for today’s live was sparked from one of my favourite influencers, Candice Brathwaite. Candice’s fear and vulnerability during a dentist visit came with unexpected gentleness and care that brought her to tears. This really moved me and brought up reflections on so many of my clients exploring the impact of unmet maternal needs and the yearning for nurturing from women who look like them.

The discomfort often experience between black women often arises from unresolved mother wounds that create barriers to authentic connections. These painful dynamics are often hidden and is the reason why I’m so passionate about creating safe spaces where black women can unpack these issues without fear of judgment, and embrace the joy in receiving care and sisterly support. In a society where conversations about maternal relationships are often stifled, my platform stands as a sanctuary, offering solace and understanding to those seeking unity in sisterhood. Details about the Sista Sanctuary and the Heal and Chill session can be found at www.heal.juneallen.net

You Are Sacred. 🧡​

June Allen

I’m back feeling happy and well rested in my sacredness after a mini sabbatical and ready to serve. Today, I want to remind you that you are also sacred. Yes you! Read that again, YOU ARE SACRED! After reconnecting with clients I recognise that many might not feel this because stress and exhaustion can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself. Join me today and watch how to find your way home to your core sacred self.

An Emotional Ending.

June Allen

One of the things I love about being a therapist is the privilege of witnessing the transformation in my clients. Last week, it was humbling to wrap up an emotional ending to my Self Care for Success course where therapists explored their relationship to caring for themselves as the foundation for building a private practice.

What I learned from the Sista students was how important it was for them to be seen and heard in the content that was designed specifically with the black women experience in mind. The result was not only about having the right tools to take care of themselves as business owners, but a shift in how they feel about themselves in the present.

There was tears and pride ignited from the mirroring and conversations around releasing the shame that blocks growth. There was hope in witnessing the collective struggles and wins in the storytelling and excitement around embracing the sacredness of black womanhood as a tool for liberation and healing in themselves and their clients.

If you’re struggling to lean into a project or your business, you are not alone. Remember that community is everything and if you can find the willingness to start, the courage to take the first steps will follow.

If you’re a wellness practitioner or a newly qualified therapist looking for a community to nurture your business, the magic continues in the North Star Business School on Wednesday 29 November 2023. The next offering is Foundational Money Moves where we’ll explore our current and historical relationship with money along with the practical processes and systems required to earn money in private practice.