During my weekends, I usually take some time to plan out how I’m going to nurture myself each week. That means checking in with where I am in the moment so I can decide what I need. In this session I share some gems for you to love on yourself this week too. Enjoy! P.S To join the book club go to www.bookclub,juneallen.net
Oooooo Gurl, you gonna need a drink and a comfortable spot for the next hour to watch this one as the Goddesses of the Round Table spill the tea on celibacy! How long is too long? How do you define it? Is it a choice or a trauma response? Does it include self pleasure? Join us as we unpack these questions with compassion, courage and lots of laughter. *Trigger Warning* we do talk on issues of abuse so if you need support after watching this you can book a 121 session with me at www.callme.juneallen.net
Decolonising Desire is a course I’ll be delivering via the Sacred Sista Sanctuary mastermind to unpack and heal from racism in our relationships. Together, we’ll explore the following topics so you can show up confidently in your interpersonal relationships:
How racism shows up in our relationships.
How childhood shapes our capacity to love.
How to deal with sexual trauma, body shame and the fear of intimacy.
Understanding boundaries in relationships.
The art of receiving and the politics of pleasure.
Healthy dating and sacred partnerships.
Many of us are compulsively hiding from our greatness because of the unconscious scripts we internalise from our dysfunctional families. Some of mine include:
I’m not allowed to be more financially prosperous.
I’m not allowed to be emotionally healthier.
Having my own needs is selfish.
And suffering is compulsory.
Until I became conscious of these scripts, there was always fear humming in the background that I would be shamed for wanting a different life and rejected after the, ‘who do you think you are?’ conversation.
Do you relate?
In healing, we learn that whilst our parents were the portals for us to be here, they do not own the rights to our future. If your currently drifting and life feels stuck, maybe its time to explore what family contracts are unconsciously sabotaging your greatness?
Today, I will remember that I have a right to live abundantly. In this moment, I will release the family scripts that keep me in bondage and begin to write my own without apology.
There’s been many times on this journey when pain has driven me into hiding.
I couldn’t bare to be seen.
In hiding from others, I could also hide from myself.
Under the system of racism, I absorbed the don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t trust rule so the shame and vulnerability fed the compulsion to abandon myself.
Sound familiar ?
If you relate, just know that you are not alone. In these moments, we must remember that we are the first generation from the plantation to do this work. After centuries of ongoing abuse, we are not only trying to process the pain in our lifetime, but the unexpressed pain passed down in our DNA.
In healing we learn that in order for things to change, we have to change the way we care for ourselves. Sometimes this means giving our confusion grace, unpacking painful feelings or raging at ‘God.’
In this moment I will remember that my tears matter and I don’t have to be in crisis to ask for help. Today, I will reach out to someone I trust and ask them to hold a space for me to weep.
|I’ve just started a channel on Tiktok and I’m obsessed!
If you’re not familiar with it, its a fun social media platform where people lip sync, create dance trends, sing and share content. It’s used by alot of teens and as you can imagine my daughter is mortified LOL!!
Dance came up in the Healing Circle mastermind session yesterday as a powerful way to have fun, release stress and connect with our inner black child. Our ancestors often used movement for sacred rituals, healing and community connection.
When I need to break up my day, I’ve often found myself on the app laughing, grooving and learning various life hacks. This got me thinking how powerful it is to combine bite size value that entertains, educates and empowers change in a fun way.
Doing the healing work under this bi*ch arse system is no joke, but play releases happy hormones, improves brain functionality, nurtures creativity and creates connection, so making time for fun is also a powerful revolutionary act.
If you haven’t done so already, you can check out my Tiktok channel here. It will take a bit of time for me to get the hang of it but watch out for some fun things I’ll be releasing alongside my usual 🔥 over the next few days.
What does having fun mean to you? How do you make time for play?
Today, I will choose one thing that will allow me to be playful. I deserve joy . Happiness is my birthright.
A couple of weeks ago I was bursting with pride after hearing the graduation stories from my mastermind mentees. Since January, we’ve worked through my Self Love Essentials Course which empowers them to unpack their pain and build a nurturing relationship with themselves and each other.
During the session we recapped each class before sharing the wins, challenges and lessons. Titles from the course included:
How to set heart centered racial wellness goals.
How to review your wellness goals.
How to create a wellness vision board.
How to create a daily wellness practice.
Understanding your emotions.
The black women right to rage.
How to respond to anger from others.
The psychology of racism.
The Melanin Theory with Dr. Francis Cress-Welsing.
My Black is Beautiful: The politics of Black femininity.
Ital Beauty workshop: Home made recipes for nourishing your black body.
These first few months of the year have been intense but so worth it to hear these phrases during the graduation, ‘I’m becoming accustomed to how powerful I am,’ to ‘I found my voice!’ and ‘I found some real friendships here.’
These sista’s have ignited their inner mothers and become warriors of self love through learning to be vulnerable when they felt safe and visible in spaces they never thought they could.
The previous pain of mistrust and betrayal by other black women in their lives has shifted because they chose to show up each week, trust themselves and do the work. I am humbled that they trust me with their process and this is why I absolutely love what I do.
There is no magic wellness formula.
I show up and do my own work personally and as a therapist so I can hold a compassionate, cultural space for black women to do theirs.
This work is not easy and sometimes it gets bloody but the magic that happens when black women embrace their growth and greatness is so God damn beautiful and I’m here for it!
Today, I will look back at how much I’ve grown and celebrate ALL of me. I am imperfectly perfect. I am powerful. I stand in my greatness.
For more details about the mastermind go to www.join.juneallen.net
Last week was one of the goddess’s birthday (Yvonne far left) so we gathered at her home to catch up. What ensued was a wonderful evening of food, conversation, dancing and an abundance of silliness that left us with sore jaws.
What I learned from the evening is that sometimes you don’t know how much you miss something until you’re reminded of how you feel in the experience.
My friendship circle has changed a lot over the years as I’ve grown and I’m so grateful to be part of this group of women who make no apologies for taking up space in their respective worlds and empower those around them to do the same whenever life gets wobbly.
I share this to remind you of the importance of checking your sistahood circle. Are you able to share your challenges, joy and dreams with them without judgement or jealously? Can they hold a space for you during challenging times like you do for them?
Sometimes, we hold onto things longer than we should because we get comfortable or are afraid of letting change help us grow. If you’re the smartest sista in your circle, maybe its time to review what your values and needs are around friendship?
In this moment, I will reclaim my right to be nurtured by other black women and explore my friendship needs. Today, I will reach to the sista’s that love me and tell them how much I love them.
Being your own best friend is something that needs to be an ongoing commitment if we are to keep well. In this session I share some simple tools to get started or refresh if you’re already on the path.
To join the mastermind go to www.join.juneallen.net
Mid January is the time that many of us often slack off around the new year promises we made to ourselves so today, I’m talking about 3 simple ways to deal with procrastination.
- Underneath procrastination is fear calling for compassion so ask yourself what you’re afraid of and work from there. Share your fear with someone you trust so they can help you though it.
- Reviewing your calendar to underschedule and reduce overwhelm will bring a manageable spaciousness to your productivity.
- Break the bigger job into smaller actions.
Watch the live stream to get more juice out of this content!