If you’re hysterical, it’s historical! I first heard this phrase in recovery and it helped me explore how my past was leaking into my present.  

If you were hurt as a child without having a safe adult to support and soothe you, you may have buried these layers of pain to cope. If you struggle to love yourself or be in healthy relationships and friendships, it may be your buried childhood wounds being activated. The healing process means educating ourselves with not just what happened to us, but the impact it has on our adult lives so today, I want to share five types of inner child wounds.

1.Abandonment: When a child feels neglected, or unloved by caregivers, this leads to feelings of insecurity, rejection, and fear of abandonment in adulthood.

2.Betrayal: When a child’s trust is violated by caregivers or significant others through deception, dishonesty, or broken promises, this leads to adult, relational mistrust.

3.Humiliation: When a child is shamed, belittled, or ridiculed by caregivers or authority figures it sets up feelings of worthlessness and a fear of being judged or criticised as an adult.

4.Rejection: When a child is invalidated, dismissed, or not accepted by caregivers or peers, this feeds feelings of inadequacy, shame and fear of rejection.

5.Injustice: When a child experiences unfair treatment, injustice, or victimization by caregivers, peers, or societal systems, this  can lead to self hatred, anger and a sense of powerlessness as an adult. 

Racism, anti-blackness, patriarchy and other oppressive systems, are the abusive, toxic ‘social parents’ that add additional wounding to each of these layers. Healing involves acknowledging, decolonising and processing these early experiences to reframe the relationship with ourselves, others and our culture.

What does inner child work mean for black women? 

If you’re ready to start doing your inner child work, click here to join the Sista Sanctuary where this month’s theme is Justice for Your Inner Child.

The post If you’re hysterical, it’s historical! 5 Inner child wounds you need to heal. first appeared on June Allen.

Self-abandonment during the holidays is driven by external expectations and internal struggles that do not include our needs. In this live stream I share some characteristics of self abandonment and how to prioritise your wellness at Christmas.

The post Don’t Abandon Yourself this Christmas first appeared on June Allen.

Are you considering joining my RISE program but aren’t sure if you’re ready? If so, you probably have questions like:

How does the program work?

What healing results can I expect and how quickly?

What’s in the program curriculum?

How much is it?

Watch the video to find out what to expect and the transformation it can make to your life.

The post Should you join my RISE cultural coaching program? first appeared on June Allen.

The days between Christmas and new year is often a space for reflection about the previous months and planning what’s possible going forward. Before moving forward, I always encourage pausing to explore 3 vital questions that will help to shape your new year choices.  

The post 3 Things to consider before setting new year intentions. first appeared on June Allen.

With the media full of more racial stress and trauma from the Armard Arbury trial, the death of Malcom X’s daughter, the Windrush scandal and Kyle Rittenhouse, it has been a very distressing week. It often feels like we can never catch a break to breathe and grieve so every so often, I’ll share a reminder of how to deal with it. Today, I’m sharing 6 types of racial stress which I hope you will find useful. 

The post 6 types of racial stress and what to do about it. first appeared on June Allen.

Black history month is a powerful opportunity to do a black girl magic check-in! How are you feeling about your melanin today? In this session, I share how to use our historical and contemporary giants to inspire and build confidence. Use what you discover to empower the choices you can make to stand in your greatness!

The post How black history builds confidence. first appeared on June Allen.

Having to deal with the impact of racism, sexism and difficult childhoods mean that many of us have suffered from depression at some time in our lives. We feel numb, helpless, and carry despair about any hope for the future.  In this week’s live I share some compassionate tools along with my experience of how I dealt with this crippling issue. 

The post 5 Compassionate tools for depression. first appeared on June Allen.

I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t love more confidence but are you willing to do what it takes to get it? As black women, we are constantly bombarded with messages that trigger feelings of shame and unworthiness about who we are. In this week’s live I share 5 tools to help you build more confidence. 

The post How to have more confidence. first appeared on June Allen.

Many of us as black women have a painful relationship with anger because we don’t want to be associated with aggression and/or abuse. It’s not easy dealing with the oppressive intersection of race and gender so it makes sense why so many of us don’t know how to manage our intense rage. If used appropriately, anger can be a powerful catalyst for change so in this week’s live, I share 3 ways that being an angry black woman can lead us to healing.  

The post How being an angry black women can heal. first appeared on June Allen.

If you were raised in a home where caregivers were physically or emotionally absent, this will have an impact on the dynamics in your relationships. In this week’s book club we explore chapter 5 from, ‘What mama couldn’t tell us about love’  which is all about the impact of abandonment through 5 personality traits. In the live stream, I share my take on these survival behaviours that keep us from the love we deserve.   

The post 5 Personality types from childhood abandonment. first appeared on June Allen.