Graduation Greatness!

A couple of weeks ago I was  bursting with pride after hearing the graduation stories from my mastermind mentees. Since January, we’ve worked through my Self Love Essentials Course which empowers them to unpack their pain and build a nurturing relationship with themselves and each other.

During the session we recapped each class before sharing the wins, challenges and lessons. Titles from the course included:
How to set heart centered racial wellness goals.

How to review your wellness goals.

How to create a wellness vision board.

How to create a daily wellness practice.

Understanding your emotions.

The black women right to rage.

How to respond to anger from others.

The psychology of racism.

The Melanin Theory with Dr. Francis Cress-Welsing.

My Black is Beautiful: The politics of Black femininity.

Ital Beauty workshop: Home made recipes for nourishing your black body.

These first few months of the year have been intense but so worth it to hear these phrases during the graduation, ‘I’m becoming accustomed to how powerful I am,’ to ‘I found my voice!’ and ‘I found some real friendships here.’

These sista’s have ignited their inner mothers and become warriors of self love through learning to be vulnerable when they felt safe and visible in spaces they never thought they could.

The previous pain of mistrust and betrayal by other black women in their lives has shifted because they chose to show up each week, trust themselves and do the work. I am humbled that they trust me with their process and this is why I absolutely love what I do.

There is no magic wellness formula.

I show up and do my own work personally and as a therapist so I can hold a compassionate, cultural space for black women to do theirs.

This work is not easy and sometimes it gets bloody but the magic that happens when black women embrace their growth and greatness is so God damn beautiful and I’m here for it!

Today, I will look back at how much I’ve grown and celebrate ALL of me. I am imperfectly perfect. I am powerful. I stand in my greatness.

For more details about the mastermind go to www.join.juneallen.net

Goddesses Gone Wild!

Last week was one of the goddess’s birthday (Yvonne far left) so we gathered at her home to catch up. What ensued was a wonderful evening of food, conversation, dancing and an abundance of silliness that left us with sore jaws.

What I learned from the evening is that sometimes you don’t know how much you miss something until you’re reminded of how you feel in the experience.

My friendship circle has changed a lot over the years as I’ve grown and I’m so grateful to be part of this group of women who make no apologies for taking up space in their respective worlds and empower those around them to do the same whenever life gets wobbly.

I share this to remind you of the importance of checking your sistahood circle. Are you able to share your challenges, joy and dreams with them without judgement or jealously? Can they hold a space for you during challenging times like you do for them?

Sometimes, we hold onto things longer than we should because we get comfortable or are afraid of letting change help us grow. If you’re the smartest sista in your circle, maybe its time to review what your values and needs are around friendship?

In this moment, I will reclaim my right to be nurtured by other black women and explore my friendship needs. Today, I will reach to the sista’s that love me and tell them how much I love them. 

Self love lane.

Sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves are fear based, recycled lies from dysfunction family members and internalised racist thinking. We feel unworthy of love and respect because our black bodies are so used to being the space for others to dump their shit.
In healing, we learn to separate what belongs to us and what we need to give back to others.
Today, I will remember that the dysfunction of others is not mine to fix. I will allow others to have their experience and stay in my self love lane.

How to deal with procrastination.

Mid January is the time that many of us often slack off around the new year promises we made to ourselves so today, I’m talking about 3 simple ways to deal with procrastination.

  1. Underneath procrastination is fear calling for compassion so ask yourself what you’re afraid of and work from there. Share your fear with someone you trust so they can help you though it.
  2. Reviewing your calendar to underschedule and reduce overwhelm will bring a manageable spaciousness to your productivity. 
  3. Break the bigger job into smaller actions.

Watch the live stream to get more juice out of this content!

Things to consider before setting racial wellness goals.

Are you struggling with clarity or bringing a cultural flavor to your new year wellness commitments? Before diving into any manifesting, goal setting and vision work, it’s always good to pause and think about how the process can be kept simple and clear. These 7 reflections will help to explore your racial wellness needs with more depth to bring your vision to life. 

  • Set your intentions and goals without the expectations of others or social stereotypes. 
  • Change takes time so schedule daily sacred sista space and be patient.
  • Be clear about your personal and cultural values.
  • Choose habits that nurture the desired racial identity. What does she do, eat, read etc? How does she behave?
  • How do you want to feel? Self esteem requires esteemable acts.
  • Manifesting  will not feel good, so explore if the risk and pain is worth it? 
  • Keep it simple and focus on the domino goal that will influence your other goals. Mastering one makes it easier to achieve them in other areas.

3 Essential tools to help you this year.

With the new year off the starting blocks I’m feeling a bit tentative about what’s around the corner.  Do you relate? This COVID mayhem is far from over so I’m keepin it in the day. Also, I’m sharing 3 essential things that helped me stay sane last year (despite all the madness) that will help you this year. Enjoy x

3 Step Trigger Repair #healinghack

Even if you’re not meeting up with family over the holidays, they may still be contact via zoom, phone and text etc. Therefore, its still important to be mindful about your triggers. This week I’m sharing a really simple 3 step process to help you deal with your holiday triggers.

  1. What are you feeling and is it really about the current conversation or something that reminds you of a wound in your past?
  2. What do you need? Maybe it’s being heard, understood or to feel safe.
  3. What must you do? Maybe you just need to remove yourself from the conversation by changing the subject, the company or the environment altogether!

Either way, the main focus must be on what comes alive in you when you communicate and to listen to your gut, needs and how you can restore a sense of emotional safety.

How I Work With Clients.

If you’ve been thinking about working with me but would like more tea on how the process work then this live stream is for you. In this session, I break down a tool I use called the triangle of awareness which explains the 3 core areas which I focus on to unpack your relationship with relationships. The incites gained from the exploration is what will eventually open you up and empower change while I cheer alongside you. Watch!

For more info about how to work with me you can check out the Sacred Sista Mastermind or 121 Soul Sessions.

Letting Go

It takes a lot more energy to hold on than it does to let go, but what does letting go actually mean? Sometimes folks repeat it like a switch you just turn off, but we both know it’s not that easy. What I’ve learned is that there are three things which help us release the things we find more difficult.

Intellectually, we can question what parts of the story belong to us and what belongs to others. Are we bringing issues into the present from the past and do we have unrealistic expectations and fantasies that cannot be fulfilled?

Physically, we can release the charge generated by the negative experience that often gets trapped in the body. Movement in all its forms will release the energy and transform its power.

Emotionally, we can let go by honoring our feelings around the event and tell the truth about it’s impact on our wellbeing. If we can speak this truth to someone safe who will hear you without judgement, the empathy clears a path for solutions to release you from its bondage.

In this moment, I will forgive myself for holding onto suffering. Today, I will give myself permission to let go of the people, places and things that hold me back from standing in my greatness.