Only a few days left now before Christmas and if your anxiety is rising from thoughts about spending time with dysfunctional family. This simple checklist will help you make some compassionate choices about how you will spend your time. The first 5 questions are specific around your internal boundaries, getting honest about what feels OK for you. When you are clear about this internally, it will be easier to be clear about what will work in your family relationships. Use your journal to help you process, get clear and brainstorm ideas.
- How do you want to feel?
- What happened last year that felt safe? What are this years triggers and what are your limits?
- Be realistic about your families limitations, where are you still fantasising or in denial about their behavior?
- What network support do you have in place to make calls, go to recovery meetings etc?
- Where can you maintain or increase your self care rituals?
These 5 are tools to manage your external relationship/family boundaries.
- Organise your calendar so you have a structure in place.
- Plan own transport so you are not reliant on anyone else if things get tough.
- Organise events with people who feel safe. Meet up with your ‘family of choice.’
- Limit time with crazy folk and give yourself permission to leave in you need to.
- Remember that presence is more important than the presents so share lots of gratitude to those who have been there for you.
If you would like a private space to share and receive more tools, you can schedule a call at www.callme.juneallen.net