Today’s live a very vulnerable one for me as I share how being in 12 step recovery saved my life. It’s been a while since I shared my story at this level so I hope it inspires you to keep going! You might need some tissues for this one!!!
Category: ADDICTION
It’s My 10th Sobriety Birthday!10 Things I’ve Learned.
Greetings, the 2nd June is my 10 year sobriety birthday and I’m so grateful! It’s been a rollercoster of pain, incite, lessons, healing and growth and I wouldn’t change any of it! It’s made me proud of who I am today!
I this session, I’m sharing 10 lessons I’ve learned.
- Racism is an addiction to power.
- White people are never going to rescue you.
- You learn to trust by trusting.
- Compassion trumps positivity.
- Sobriety requires softness.
- You can’t heal alone.
- Black only spaces are everything!
- Educate yourself about black psychology.
- Not all black folk want to heal but shaming them doesn’t work either.
- Every baby step counts.
If you think you might be addicted or are in recovery looking for more information about racial sobriety, details can be found at www.theblacksteps.com
YOG50: Recovery Step 1 with Rineya from My Black Experience. BONUS PODCAST!
I could not let January slip by without sharing some step one racial sobriety recovery in the first month of this year. The adapted step 1 from AA translates to us as, ‘We admitted we were powerless over the impact of racism (white supremacy), that our lives had become unmanageable.’ To break this down, I am thrilled to be sharing the space with my sista in recovery Rineya who agreed to join me to share her experience strength and hope on this first step as a black women healing from addiction. We explore the pain and powerlessness of living under the system of white supremacy, her rock bottom moment, tokenism, racism in the rooms, and the power of black spaces which bring hope in taking this first step. You don’t want to miss this! You can connect with Rineya at www.myblackexperience.co.uk or follow her on instagram @Rineya_Umran_ka
What is racial sobriety in recovery?
In today’s episode, June shares about racial sobriety within the context of recovery. She talks about the history, the blocks to racial sobriety and how to include it in your recovery process. For more details and tools about racial sobriety in recovery go to www.heal.juneallen.net
New Year, New Rock Bottom?
It’s been a while since I’ve done a podcast but its good to be back! In this session I share about what to do when you’ve been in recovery a while and experience rock bottoms with each new layer of growth. I also share what’s been happening in my recovery around realignment as I level up around the women I’m stepping into in 2020. Enjoy!
5 Reasons Why Your Absent Father Can’t Hear Your Pain.
With UK Fathers Day around the corner, I’ve seen alot posts with anxious wounded daughters feeling sad about their absent fathers. When I talk about being absent, its not just about being physically absent, but also about being emotionally absent. Today, I’m sharing 5 Reasons why your dad can’t hear you.
- In order to empathise with your pain, he has to be connected to his own and he may not be ready for that.
- He may not be ready to face the consequences of the pain he has caused you. Apologies require the responsibility to take action and show up in the relationship with you and for himself.
- He may feel a lot of shame about his behavior which means this chronic sense of unworthiness will keep him triggered and feeling undeserving of having a relationship with his daughter.
- If he’s an addict and in active addiction it will be hard for him to see beyond his acting out behaviours.
- If he lacks the emotional maturity and is really disconnected from himself, he will continue to use you as a scapegoat to dump his feelings.
Watch the free web class below for tools and support.
7 Racial Sobriety Essentials.
If you are in 12 step recovery or think you might be addicted, these 7 essentials will help you navigate the healing process in the recovery rooms as a person of colour.
- You need to educate yourself to understand the psychology of racism.
- Be honest about the impact of racism on your life. You can’t change what you don’t understand about yourself.
- Explore the dysfunctional/ addictive survival patterns you used to avoid your pain.
- Use your tools, cultural top and bottom lines will keep you safe and build racial self esteem.
- Keep yourself safe from 13th step predetors, especially if you are new to recovery.
- Build your support network and be mindful of how interracial sponsorship or therapy could block your healing.
- For all my seasoned fellows in recovery, start your own POC meeting in your primary fellowship. The mirroring and identification is beyond powerful!
Watch the free webclass below for a deeper breakdown. Go to www.racialsobrietyrooms.com to get your ticket to the conference.
You Are Not Powerless!
With a history and culture of unheard pain, it makes sense that many of us feel a deep sense of powerlessness. We feel powerless over white supremacy, powerless over the ‘loved’ ones who hurt us, and powerless over the unmanageable impact it’s had on our lives.
The result of unheard powerlessness and oppression is learned helplessness. When we’re taught that we have no power, we stay trapped in a child like state where being seen or heard is emotionally unsafe. I’ve often described myself as this adult child and the anger I swallowed around my powerlessness became depression. My oppression became depression. The anger without the fire……….. Want more?
The 13 November will be my 50th Birthday and I’m sharing a collection of 50 lessons, revelations and rituals (FREEDOM 50 Series) that have nurtured my serenity and what I hope, will inspire you to stay on the path of healing. This session is one of my 10 life lessons. Click here to here the full session in audio, You are not powerless!
Click here to find out more about the FREEDOM 50 Series.
Till Next time,
Your sista in service.
June
Addiction is a Family Disease
I’ve been a little quiet over the last few days, because it was my late brothers birthday on the 7th of September. After many years of substance abuse, he died aged 46.
Many of us don’t understand addiction, and are quick to judge those who act out with drink, drugs, food, sex or any other behaviours that sabotage our ability to show up and shine in our greatness.
For black folks, addiction is a cultural disease rooted in a desperate need to escape the vulnerability of our blackness. We carry the scars of slavery and todays oppression which vilifies our melanin magic.
Without a revolutionary program of gentleness, healing and compassion, our people will continue to recycle their pain by hurting ourselves and each other.
The last conversation I had with my brother was painful because he was high and incoherent.
I felt powerless over his suffering.
I was scared of getting THAT phone call. That my sobriety could not save him.
In recovery, I learned to let go of the guilt of not being able to end his misery. Today, I honor him by sharing the power of racial sobriety with those who are willing and able to do the work.
Healing begins when we accept that we cannot control how others choose to manage their pain. We let go of trying to save those we love, and focus on healing ourselves.
Today, I will not abandon myself in the compulsive need to rescue others. My recovery and healing must always come first.
……………
In this previous podcast, I talk more openly about my brothers addiction and how his death continues to keep me sober and serving the community. Click here to listen.
To get started on your journey to racial sobriety, go to www.theblacksteps.com
Racism is a Spiritual Disease.
Before attending one of my recovery meetings, I found racist abuse all over it’s poster because it was a closed space for folks who identify as people of color.
Keeping this boundary is an important part of keeping the space safe for members to share their truth and minimise racial codependency (code switching) if white people attended.
At first I felt shock. Although I understand intellectually that I’m a black women living under the system of racism, it’s always painful when I experience it so overtly.
It’s especially hard in the recovery space, where people are there to heal, not to have to deal with more abuse. I shared what happened with the group and went straight into sharing my experience, strength and hope in what was a powerful meeting.
It was only when I returned home that I was really able to reflect on what happened and understood the power of racial sobriety.
Before recovery, racist abuse sent me straight into a shame spiral, doing whatever was necessary to stuff down my feelings, minimise the abuse and keep myself small around white people.
Today, I understand that racism is an addiction to power. A spiritual disease where white supremacists have so much self loathing, that they must act it out through oppressing those who trigger any reminder of their whiteness.
In this moment, I will remember that what others think about my skin tone is none of my business. I do not have to absorb their toxic projections, and have the right to set the appropriate boundaries that will keep me safe.
I am a precious child of God, deserving of all things good, abundant and peaceful.
And so it is.
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If you’ve experienced racism in the recovery rooms, you can download my free masterclass at www.sobriety.juneallen.net