Responding V Reacting.

#juneslovenotes

One of the most powerful signs that we’re on the road to wholeness is our ability to respond verses react. Reactions happen as unconscious knee jerk defenses which often rebound in our community through the shaming, ‘stop being so emotional’ conversation.

In recovery we use the term, ‘if you’re hysterical, it’s historical,’ this means that the person reacting often has a history of not being heard and the person making the negative statement is either disconnected from understanding the emotional displacement or cut off from their own empathy.

On the plantation, our ancestors could loose their lives for expressing emotion and this has unconsciously been passed down to us. Emotions have now become unsafe and weaponised to keep us silent.

The healing process allows us to release and process our unheard experiences from the past so our emotions in the present, are present.

In this moment, I will be honest about the wounds from my past that are still bleeding inside my now. Today, I will ask for help to heal these wounds and free my future.

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Bashment or Lovers Rock?

Happy International Reggae Day Fam!

With both my parents from Jamaica, it makes sense for me to fly the flag hard for it’s amazing influence on reggae culture.

The first time I fell in love with reggae was hearing the soundtrack from the film The Harder they come with Jimmy Cliff and Toots and the Maytals.

So why does singing our favorite chunes feel so damn good?

The voice box is connected to your vagus nerve which is the body’s longest super highway which connects our thoughts to feelings from the base of the brain to the abdomen (Google it).

When stimulated, this powerful system of roots and cables turns off our stress fight or flight response to regain a sense of balance and calm.

With the constant stress of living under the system of racism, it makes sense why singing, music and dance has always been a central role in our culture.

So as we celebrate the eclectic genius of reggae, whether you choose to twerk, whine or ride pon di river, consciously choose songs that uplift, soothe and ignite your melanin pride!

Today, I will remember that music is also therapy and black chunes matter!

It Takes a Village?

#juneslovenotes
Last Sunday was my second guest appearance on Goddesses of the Round Table with 6 other black women.
The topic was The Mother Wound which brought up some difficult, but powerful conversations.
One of the sistas talked about the concept of healing through the African proverb, ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ Whilst I love the idea of this in principle, it always makes me sad because the reality is that our village is deeply wounded.
A lot of elders in our community were (and still are) very abusive, and remain stuck in denial about their need to do the healing work or make any sort of amends to those they hurt. This means that what was once a valuable part of the village, has become unsafe and the consequences are clear in the faces of unhappy children now walking around in adult bodies.
When we’re denied the love and protection we deserve as children, it takes a lot to reach out for help as an adult. If we’re willing to trust the process, a rework of the original quote can give us hope as we build a family of choice. So instead of saying, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ we can move to,  ‘It takes a healing village to raise an adult child.’ This empowers us while we heal to be more discerning about trusting those who have earned our trust.
Today, I will remember that I have the right to choose peace and blood is not thicker than safety.

TOOLS FOR BETTER LOCK DOWN SLEEP.

Hey family, I hope you are well and keeping safe. I don’t know about you but my sleep has been all over the place since this pandemic started so in this live stream I share the tools I use to improve my zzzzzzeddds.

  1. Bedroom: Is it messy? Do you take work in there? Make sure your bedroom has the calm vibes for sleep.
  2. Deconstruct: Release the stress of the day with journalling or sharing with someone you trust.
  3. Meditation: Check out binaural beats Youtube which are great for reducing your anxious brain. I don’t know the science behind it, but it works!
  4. Movement: If anxiety is keeping you up, remember that its also energy trapped in the body so stretching, yoga, dancing, any sort of movement is great for releasing body tension. I love doing yoga sessions with an amazing black women called Faith Hunter on YouTube @spirituallyfly
  5. Essential Oil: Lavender oil is my primary go to for relaxation. Put a few drops on your pillow, mix with olive oil to rub on your body or drop into a warm bath. Mmmmmmm.