The healing journey is not just about visiting spa’s and talking about our issues, it also involves making time to get clear on difficult choices, having hard conversations, listening to our bodies and expanding our awareness at every level. Join me while I discuss the importance of making time to feel.
This time of year can be a very vulnerable time for many with the expectations of the holidays and being around unsafe family members. Add the recent suicide of Steven ‘Twitch’ Boss in the US, the racist abuse toward Megan and Ngosi from the royals / Jeremy Clarkson and the cost of living crisis, it makes sense that there are a lot of strong emotions.
There is a lot of stigma in our community about dealing with our mental health so I wanted to take the opportunity to have an honest conversation about this tender topic and how we can begin to embrace the suffering with more compassion and understanding instead of fear, guilt and shame.
In this live, fellow therapist Yvonne Douglas and I explore the stigma of suicide in the black community, some statistics, why do black people feel suicidal, how to help a suicidal friend, how therapy can help and what to do if you can’t afford therapy.
More details about how to connect with Yvonne can be found at https://yvonnejdouglas.com/
The black and asian therapists network. https://www.baatn.org.uk/
Over the last few weeks I’ve heard a lot of people talking about being burnt out. Many of us are still in denial about the impact of 2 years of COVID lockdowns along with the racial fatigue that is ongoing in everyday life. In this session I share more reasons why you’re burnt out and what to do about it. Click here for more details about my financial therapy study circle.
Without a safe space to process, many of us have buried difficult feelings for years. Therefore, it makes sense that our negative thinking is the emotional leaking out of a difficult past. An important part of the healing process is understanding that it’s not linear. There is no golden destination and sometimes there will be moments when things just feel sh*t as the layers come off. In this week’s live, I share the 5 tools I use when this funk gets in the way.
With the racist backlash from England losing the football, there is understandably a lot of intense rage and stress from our community at the treatment of these black players. Mindfulness is an important tool for processing difficult emotions but often the cultural context gets missed in the conversation.
In this session, I share 5 principles for effective mindfulness with the additional exploration of how to include what it means for black people living under the system of racism.
With the new year off the starting blocks I’m feeling a bit tentative about what’s around the corner. Do you relate? This COVID mayhem is far from over so I’m keepin it in the day. Also, I’m sharing 3 essential things that helped me stay sane last year (despite all the madness) that will help you this year. Enjoy x
Even if you’re not meeting up with family over the holidays, they may still be contact via zoom, phone and text etc. Therefore, its still important to be mindful about your triggers. This week I’m sharing a really simple 3 step process to help you deal with your holiday triggers.
What are you feeling and is it really about the current conversation or something that reminds you of a wound in your past?
What do you need? Maybe it’s being heard, understood or to feel safe.
What must you do? Maybe you just need to remove yourself from the conversation by changing the subject, the company or the environment altogether!
Either way, the main focus must be on what comes alive in you when you communicate and to listen to your gut, needs and how you can restore a sense of emotional safety.
With the UK going into lockdown again today and the results of the election about to be revealed, I’m hearing a lot of you talking about anxiety. Yesterday, I caught myself in compulsive overworking mode and when I eventually crawled into bed I paused to check in with myself to get present to what was really going on. I’ve learned over the years that underneath anxiety was my body’s way of warning me that something (or someone) feels unsafe or a boundary has been crossed.
With parenting, studying, holding space for others and doing some trauma work, I’d let my own self care slip. Sometimes we can be so focused on trying to deal with the anxiety that we miss the message it’s trying to bring us underneath it. The election has revealed the increase in people voting for someone who’s been blatant about his white supremacist views. The lockdown is a reminder of how black and brown folks are more vulnerable around COVID with no support from the government around how this is being addressed.
Whilst I had not been thinking about how these things impact me personally, my anxiety was a reminder that I need to check in with myself and do this work. In this session, I’m going to share how I deal with anxiety and how it can be your ally in this current climate.
One of the most powerful signs that we’re on the road to wholeness is our ability to respond verses react. Reactions happen as unconscious knee jerk defenses which often rebound in our community through the shaming, ‘stop being so emotional’ conversation.
In recovery we use the term, ‘if you’re hysterical, it’s historical,’ this means that the person reacting often has a history of not being heard and the person making the negative statement is either disconnected from understanding the emotional displacement or cut off from their own empathy.
On the plantation, our ancestors could loose their lives for expressing emotion and this has unconsciously been passed down to us. Emotions have now become unsafe and weaponised to keep us silent.
The healing process allows us to release and process our unheard experiences from the past so our emotions in the present, are present.
In this moment, I will be honest about the wounds from my past that are still bleeding inside my now. Today, I will ask for help to heal these wounds and free my future.
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