‘How can I grieve the loss of someone still alive?’

One of the questions I am being asked a lot in session recently, is how clients can grieve the loss of someone still alive? If you have no contact with parents or other family members. this is a particularly complex and emotionally challenging issue that requires professional support, a support network and lots of self compassion. Join me in today’s live as I share how I work with black women around this tender issue along with tools to care for yourself if you relate.

Umoja (Unity) in sistahood.

My inspiration for today’s live was sparked from one of my favourite influencers, Candice Brathwaite. Candice’s fear and vulnerability during a dentist visit came with unexpected gentleness and care that brought her to tears. This really moved me and brought up reflections on so many of my clients exploring the impact of unmet maternal needs and the yearning for nurturing from women who look like them.

The discomfort often experience between black women often arises from unresolved mother wounds that create barriers to authentic connections. These painful dynamics are often hidden and is the reason why I’m so passionate about creating safe spaces where black women can unpack these issues without fear of judgment, and embrace the joy in receiving care and sisterly support. In a society where conversations about maternal relationships are often stifled, my platform stands as a sanctuary, offering solace and understanding to those seeking unity in sisterhood. Details about the Sista Sanctuary and the Heal and Chill session can be found at www.heal.juneallen.net

Barrel Children Documentary Reflections.

In this live stream I share reflections from a powerful documentary called “Barrel Children” which sheds light on the experiences of children left behind in the Caribbean during the Windrush period when their parents migrated to the UK in search of a better life. The film delves into the emotional and psychological impact on these children and explores the complex, painful challenges faced by each generation during this time.

Happy Mothers Day?

After years of navigating the complex relationship with my mother, (and now no contact), one of the most important things I’ve learned in the healing process is that motherhood is not just about my relationship with her. It’s about receiving maternal energy that can come from anyone who is loving and caring for your best interests.

Sometimes your mothers job was just being the portal that gave you life. Her traumatic entanglement with systems of oppression and inability to do her own mother wound work means that she is unable to meet your basic human needs as a child. Despite the pain of accepting this reality, there is hope my sista.

The reason I am here sharing my story and advocating for your inner child is because I found the courage over the years , bit by bit to allow other black women to care for me where my mother fell short. Being seen, heard and empowered by black, woman therapists and sibling sistas in recovery has been the magic that put me back together when I felt powerless, ashamed and unworthy.

I still have days when the grief is unbearable and the rage is intense, but I can take these truths to my inner circle and process, weep, unpack so I can show up for my daughter and support the community and my clients through sharing my journey.

Whatever your circumstances, however your mother treated you, it was not your fault.

You hear me? It was not your fault!

This bitch arse system also wants us to recycle the toxic maternal legacy of abuse, mistrust and self hate that keeps from loving on each other and grinding for them in order to get crumbs of validation.

You matter sis. I see you. You are not alone. ❤️

Next Tuesday 21 March 2023 at 8pm London time I am hosting a free healing circle on post Mothers Day self care for wounded black daughters. Click here to sign up.

The Powerful ‘Black’ Sheep?

In researching content for my Black Mother Wound  retreat, I came across a powerful piece of writing that reframes the negative meaning of the ‘black’ sheep of the family. In this live stream I share my thoughts on how this position is an opportunity to reclaim your autonomy and break destructive family patterns!

The Black Sheep. By Bert Hellinger.

‘The so-called black sheep of the family are, in fact, hunters born of paths of liberation into the family tree.

The members of a tree who do not conform to the norms or traditions of the family system, those who since childhood have constantly sought to revolutionise beliefs, going against the paths marked by family traditions, those criticised, judged and even rejected, these are usually called to free the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations.

The black sheep, those who do not adapt, those who cry rebelliously, play a basic role within each family system, they repair, pick up and create new and unfold branches in the family tree.

Thanks to these members, our trees renew their roots. Its rebellion is fertile soil, its madness is water that nourishes, its stubbornness is new air, its passion is fire that re-ignites the light of the heart of the ancestors.

Uncountable repressed desires, unfulfilled dreams, the frustrated talents of our ancestors are manifested in the rebelliousness of these black sheep seeking fulfilment. The genealogical tree, by inertia will want to continue to maintain the castrating and toxic course of its trunk, which makes the task of our sheep a difficult and conflicting work.

However, who would bring new flowers to our tree if it were not for them? Who would create new branches? Without them, the unfulfilled dreams of those who support the tree generations ago would die buried beneath their own roots.

Let no one cause you to doubt, take care of your rarity as the most precious flower of your tree.

You are the dream of all your ancestors.’