After years of navigating the complex relationship with my mother, (and now no contact), one of the most important things I’ve learned in the healing process is that motherhood is not just about my relationship with her. It’s about receiving maternal energy that can come from anyone who is loving and caring for your best interests.
Sometimes your mothers job was just being the portal that gave you life. Her traumatic entanglement with systems of oppression and inability to do her own mother wound work means that she is unable to meet your basic human needs as a child. Despite the pain of accepting this reality, there is hope my sista.
The reason I am here sharing my story and advocating for your inner child is because I found the courage over the years , bit by bit to allow other black women to care for me where my mother fell short. Being seen, heard and empowered by black, woman therapists and sibling sistas in recovery has been the magic that put me back together when I felt powerless, ashamed and unworthy.
I still have days when the grief is unbearable and the rage is intense, but I can take these truths to my inner circle and process, weep, unpack so I can show up for my daughter and support the community and my clients through sharing my journey.
Whatever your circumstances, however your mother treated you, it was not your fault.
You hear me? It was not your fault!
This bitch arse system also wants us to recycle the toxic maternal legacy of abuse, mistrust and self hate that keeps from loving on each other and grinding for them in order to get crumbs of validation.
You matter sis. I see you. You are not alone. ❤️
Next Tuesday 21 March 2023 at 8pm London time I am hosting a free healing circle on post Mothers Day self care for wounded black daughters. Click here to sign up.