In today’s session, I want to dive compassionately into this topic as it’s something I see destroying our community on so many levels.
First, I feel it’s important to say that the fear of being visible for melanated folks is not a personal failing but a protective strategy that has deep roots in our traumatic history of enslavement and oppression. Our ancestors could have been killed for speaking out, so being invisible was the survival pattern that kept them alive. This has been passed down generationally and still keeps many of us ‘safe’ in toxic workplace environments.
Racial shame can also play a huge role in this conversation where we’ve internalised the oppression and believe we are defective and unworthy, making it harder to be visible at work, particularly in predominantly white spaces. Here’s how shame and the fear of visibility can show up at work :
- Self-Doubt: We second-guess our abilities and qualifications, doubting whether we deserve abundance, recognition or promotions. This leads to us undermining our achievements and the avoidance of leadership roles.
- Hyper-Vigilance: Due to our abusive history and current experiences it’s inevitable that we are hyper-vigilant at work, constantly monitoring our words and actions to avoid giving others a reason to question our competence or professionalism.
- Perfectionism: In order to deal with workplace stress, we pressure ourselves to perform flawlessly at work which inevitably increases stress leading to burnout. We may also be reluctant to seek help or delegate tasks for fear of appearing inadequate.
- Avoidance of the Spotlight: The fear of being negatively targeted means that we actively avoid situations that would bring us attention i.e. speaking up in meetings, leadership opportunities, or advocating for ourselves in performance evaluations.
- Imposter Syndrome: Despite our accomplishments and qualifications, we continue to internalise racist lies about our abilities and feel like frauds and don’t believe we deserve success.
- Over-Accommodation: In an effort to assimilate and avoid conflict, we may overwork and over-accommodate others or the business needs or expectations.
Many of us spend a lot of time in the workplace so if these characteristics are part of your daily grind it’s going to have a huge impact on your wellbeing. If you identify with any of the above it’s time to be honest about your relationship to work and how to reframe how you express your gifts to the world.
As a trauma therapist and business coach, we can work together to understand your specific workplace culture, coping patterns and the shame reduction tools required to reveal your needs and how to move forward managing your workplace wellness with compassion and confidence to thrive. If you have questions about how we can work together, email me at info@yardofgreatness.com
