The Power of Black Sistahood

In these times of intense stress, it’s easy to get trapped in compulsive problem solving. Our survival energy is ramped up so we use it’s charge for intense busyness to release anxiety and feelings of powerlessness.

When I began creating the mastermind, I was obsessed with making sure there was lots of rich content with tools to transform. Members would use the material to understand their pain and process it through using the worksheets, videos and resources  I’d created and banked over the years.

What I learned yesterday from a Sista member was, whilst the library of wellness was extremely important for self study, it was secondary to the power of being held in the live weekly circles.

The real joy for her came from being seen, having her story heard and witnessed with compassion, without judgement, from sista’s who look like her.

Shared identification, solution focused healing and mirroring the greatness in each other is a powerful catalyst for change.

Today, I will remember that heart centered healing is not always about what I need to do, but making sure I have a safe space to be.

Bashment or Lovers Rock?

Happy International Reggae Day Fam!

With both my parents from Jamaica, it makes sense for me to fly the flag hard for it’s amazing influence on reggae culture.

The first time I fell in love with reggae was hearing the soundtrack from the film The Harder they come with Jimmy Cliff and Toots and the Maytals.

So why does singing our favorite chunes feel so damn good?

The voice box is connected to your vagus nerve which is the body’s longest super highway which connects our thoughts to feelings from the base of the brain to the abdomen (Google it).

When stimulated, this powerful system of roots and cables turns off our stress fight or flight response to regain a sense of balance and calm.

With the constant stress of living under the system of racism, it makes sense why singing, music and dance has always been a central role in our culture.

So as we celebrate the eclectic genius of reggae, whether you choose to twerk, whine or ride pon di river, consciously choose songs that uplift, soothe and ignite your melanin pride!

Today, I will remember that music is also therapy and black chunes matter!

It Takes a Village?

Last Sunday was my second guest appearance on Goddesses of the Round Table with 6 other black women.
The topic was The Mother Wound which brought up some difficult, but powerful conversations.
One of the sistas talked about the concept of healing through the African proverb, ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ Whilst I love the idea of this in principle, it always makes me sad because the reality is that our village is deeply wounded.
A lot of elders in our community were (and still are) very abusive, and remain stuck in denial about their need to do the healing work or make any sort of amends to those they hurt. This means that what was once a valuable part of the village, has become unsafe and the consequences are clear in the faces of unhappy children now walking around in adult bodies.
When we’re denied the love and protection we deserve as children, it takes a lot to reach out for help as an adult. If we’re willing to trust the process, a rework of the original quote can give us hope as we build a family of choice. So instead of saying, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ we can move to,  ‘It takes a healing village to raise an adult child.’ This empowers us while we heal to be more discerning about trusting those who have earned our trust.
Today, I will remember that I have the right to choose peace and blood is not thicker than safety.
#juneslovenotes

Don’t throw people away?

#juneslovenotes
Many of us experience pain in our families where denial has been the super glue bonding the dysfunction.
When you make the decision to do the inner work, enabling sick family patterns is no longer an option. Your shedding the mask that kept you ‘safe’ in honor of discovering your new, true authentic self. As we step into our truth, what do we do with those who choose to stay in the dysfunction and don’t support your growth? I’ve learned that we don’t have to throw them away, we can create a spiritual compost.
With a physical compost heap, you recycle kitchen and garden waste into rich organic matter to nourish your plants. In this instance, we hand the challenging people and their behaviors over to our Higher Power (as you understand it) and take the lessons from our experience of them to nurture our growth.
I have a wooden box on my alter where I write the names of people causing me pain, have always caused me pain and have no intention of doing this work. Sometimes, I have to hand them over through gritted teeth but there’s always a lesson, a gem, an incite we can take from that relationship. Maybe its setting new boundaries, learning to say no or redefining your values and needs? When we stay focused on doing our inner work, we transform our rubbish from the past into wisdom to nourish our future.
Affirmation: Today, I will remember that I am not responsible for fixing others. I will honor all that I am and take this wonderful opportunity to celebrate my truth and growth.

The Importance of Sistahood.

Last Sunday I was honored to be part of a new venture called Goddesses of the Round Table. This space was held by 7 light workers, healers and therapists to talk about current issues impacting our community. In the session we talk about the importance of sistahood and related topics around the mother wound, shame, learning to stand in your power and so much more. Check out this first episode and join us for the fortnightly show on Sunday evenings.

 

YOG51: Keep it Simple.

‘Keep it simple,’ is one of the classic slogans used in 12 step recovery when things get tough. In this podcast episode, June shares some tools to help you keep things super simple in the midst of overwhelm, frustration and limited time.

The Opposite of Trauma is Play.

In this podcast June shares the importance of play as part of our healing, recovery process. Living under the oppressive system of racism is traumatic, and if we were raised in homes that also were chaotic, play is going to be something the can feel foreign to us because these environments will consciously and unconsciously  keep us on high alert.   Play is the opposite of trauma, so grab a tea and a pad to take notes as June shares how to bring more fun into your growth process. For details about the living in love programme go to www.love.juneallen.net