In the ever-changing journey of life, our relationship with uncertainty can have a huge impact our well-being. Whether it’s in our relationships, careers and even our own bodies, our ability to adapt and manage uncertainty becomes crucial for our ability to thrive. In this live, we explore strategies for dealing with uncertainty and how to develop a healthy relationship with change.
Many or us are so used to being silenced that we don’t know how to advocate for ourselves. One of the most humbling things I witness in clients is seeing them find their voice and give themselves permission to speak their truth without judgement. In this live I talk about the power of being heard and the importance of finding the right space to open up.
I often see people struggling with being visible from being terrified of putting themselves out on social as a business or not putting their camera’s on in recovery meetings. This often feeds the shame we may have about ourselves and keeps us trapped in cycle of hiding, self hatred and chronic deprivation. Join me in todays live to talk understanding and have compassion for the part of you that fears being visible.
The healing journey is not just about visiting spa’s and talking about our issues, it also involves making time to get clear on difficult choices, having hard conversations, listening to our bodies and expanding our awareness at every level. Join me while I discuss the importance of making time to feel.
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In this session I continue the conversation around this months theme of anger and share three things to consider when dealing with someone who is angry.
- Is the anger being expressed respectfully?
- What comes alive in you being around their angry? Do you shut down or become defensive?
- Focus on what you will do in response to their anger rather than trying to control how they behave. What boundaries do you need to put in place in that moment or with that person in general?
Watch the live below for a more in depth exploration of these points. If you have any questions about what was shared, you can email me at [email protected]
As human beings, it’s inevitable that we will sometimes make mistakes and sometimes, we will have regrets about the choices we’ve made. Instead of carrying the weight of regret or beating ourselves up, in today’s live stream I share and expand on the following tools you can use to stop shaming yourself and move forward with compassion and wisdom.
- Acknowledge your feelings. Is there shame, guilt or anger towards yourself about what you did? How is this continuing to hurt you? Be truthful to yourself first about exactly what you regret.
- Reflect on the experience: what happened during the event itself, but also explore a wider view of what was happening for you that led up the experiencer? Is your behaviour a pattern that was being repeated long before the incident? Why? Where did you learn this and what need is getting met by doing it? What could you have done differently?
- Practice self-compassion: Sometimes we get so trapped in the feelings that we find it hard to give ourselves any grace for just being human. Give yourself space to pause, breathe and show kindness to yourself.
- Focus on the present: Focusing on the past in regret can be a recipe for suffering so explore what you learned from the experience and what would you do differently today?
- Make amends if appropriate: If your behaviour really hurt someone else then consider an apology. Not just to make yourself feel better but as a commitment to your integrity. If you choose to apologise, empathise with the damage caused and how you can show up in the relationship going forward. Remember that often we forget that we sometimes need to make amends to ourselves so that means making a promise to make the necessary choices going forward that will nurture our growth, even when we make mistakes.
Remember, regret is part of being human but as you grow you’ll spend less time in guilt and shame and more focus on the lessons, repair and how to move forward in a healthy way.
This time of year can be a very vulnerable time for many with the expectations of the holidays and being around unsafe family members. Add the recent suicide of Steven ‘Twitch’ Boss in the US, the racist abuse toward Megan and Ngosi from the royals / Jeremy Clarkson and the cost of living crisis, it makes sense that there are a lot of strong emotions.
There is a lot of stigma in our community about dealing with our mental health so I wanted to take the opportunity to have an honest conversation about this tender topic and how we can begin to embrace the suffering with more compassion and understanding instead of fear, guilt and shame.
In this live, fellow therapist Yvonne Douglas and I explore the stigma of suicide in the black community, some statistics, why do black people feel suicidal, how to help a suicidal friend, how therapy can help and what to do if you can’t afford therapy.
More details about how to connect with Yvonne can be found at https://yvonnejdouglas.com/
The black and asian therapists network. https://www.baatn.org.uk/
Black men’s wellness. https://findabalance.org/
Recovery support www.theblacksteps.com
Most of us like to think that we are honest and talk about wanting others to be honest with us. However, the reality is that many can’t hold the truth about what they do to themselves or others as a consequence of not dealing with their pain. In todays session, I share 5 reasons black folks lie and the importance of keeping your side of the street clean.