On the 2 June 2010 I started working with a sponsor in my first recovery fellowship. Multiple fellowships and steps later, I am so grateful to be here 15 years after taking that first step to share how the promises of recovery continue to create miracles in my life. It’s easy to talk about the […]
Blog
Your Standing Ovation?
It never feels good to be criticised, but are you able to receive praise after a job well done? In my coaching group this week, one of my peers asked how my keynote at the Black and Asian Therapists Network conference went, and I felt myself shrink into shameful smallness. I played it down and sheepishly said […]
Are you scared of being visible?
In today’s session, I want to dive compassionately into this topic as it’s something I see destroying our community on so many levels. First, I feel it’s important to say that the fear of being visible for melanated folks is not a personal failing but a protective strategy that has deep roots in our traumatic […]
Are you the workplace mammy?
Last week I saw a really cringy interview with Drew Barrymore and Vice President Kamala Harris (USA) where she was asking her to be the county’s ‘Mamula.’ It was clearly giving, ‘be the black mammy’ vibes and there were a lot of us on social media saying how tired they were of having this stereotype […]
How does slavery continue to destroy secure childhood attachment today?
Chattel slavery kept mothers and babies in bondage for centuries, so it’s important to explore how it still impacts our community today. Frederick Douglass was an iconic African American abolitionist, writer, speaker, and statesman. Born into slavery in Talbot County, Maryland around 1818, he escaped in 1838 and became one of the leading voices in the fight against […]
Changing patterns?
The things that kept us soothed and safe as children in dysfunctional families can block us from what we need as adults. Journaling can help us identify any recurring patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that no longer serve us. Exploring these experiences compassionately can give us clarity on how the past continues to bleed into the […]
The Power of Kitty Calm.
Ever since I was a little girl, cats have always been a great source of comfort. There’s something so settling about being around the purring and ‘biscuit’ making. When I had no safe people to turn to, my cat with the only consistent love I knew. There’ve been many times when I’ve been upset and […]
What exactly does justice for your inner child mean?
One of the most powerful aspects of my work is holding space for a client’s inner child to emerge. It can take a while before this younger part of ourselves feels safe enough to come out from where they’ve been hiding. Sometimes I’ll need to slow them down from intellectualising and using words to cover […]
Recognizing Coping Mechanisms
The things that kept us soothed and safe as children in dysfunctional families can block us from what we need as adults. Journaling can help us identify any recurring patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that no longer serve us. Exploring these experiences compassionately can give us clarity on how the past continues to bleed into the […]
How do childhood attachment patterns impact our adult relationships?
In a healthy mother and baby relationship, a secure attachment is formed when they are responsive and can provide nurturing care, protection, and emotional support. Building a secure attachment is important for: Babies’ brain development. Learning to self soothe. Feeling deserving of care. Seeding self esteem. The first experience of love. Building confidence to communicate […]