‘I’m stuck in negative thinking!’

Without a safe space to process, many of us have buried difficult feelings for years. Therefore, it makes sense that our negative thinking is the emotional leaking out of a difficult past. An important part of the healing process is understanding that it’s not linear. There is no golden destination and sometimes there will be moments when things just feel sh*t as the layers come off. In this week’s live, I share the 5 tools I use when this funk gets in the way. 

How to enjoy the Healing Process

Often times, the healing process is dominated by unpacking our pain, trauma and the challenges of daily living.  However, an important part of the journey is being able to enjoy your growth in the present as well as learning from the past and planning your future.

In this session, I share 3 ways to enjoy the healing process. Use these tools to learn how to bask in the beauty of healing and being your best self right now.

How to practice black mindfulness

With the racist backlash from England losing the football, there is understandably a lot of intense rage and stress from our community at the treatment of these black players. Mindfulness is an important tool for processing difficult emotions but often the cultural context gets missed in the conversation.

In this session, I share 5 principles for effective mindfulness with the additional exploration of how to include what it means for black people living under the system of racism.  

‘I don’t know what my needs are?’

One of the questions that clients often find difficult to answer is what they need. If we were raised in homes that were neglectful and abusive, we shut down because it wasn’t safe to express our feelings or needs. As adults, this pattern can show up as numbness, anger and resentment in people pleasing relationships so in this session, I share a tool that can help you reconnect to your feelings along with 8 important human needs to consider as a black woman. 

Are there benefits to celibacy?

Oooooo Gurl, you gonna need a drink and a comfortable spot for the next hour to watch this one as the Goddesses of the Round Table spill the tea on celibacy! How long is too long? How do you define it? Is it a choice or a trauma response? Does it include self pleasure? Join us as we unpack these questions with compassion, courage and lots of laughter. *Trigger Warning* we do talk on issues of abuse so if you need support after watching this you can book a 121 session with me at www.callme.juneallen.net 

Decolonising Desire is a course I’ll be delivering via the Sacred Sista Sanctuary mastermind to unpack and heal from racism in our relationships. Together, we’ll explore the following topics so you can show up confidently in your interpersonal relationships:

How racism shows up in our relationships.
How childhood shapes our capacity to love.
How to deal with sexual trauma, body shame and the fear of intimacy.
Understanding boundaries in relationships.
The art of receiving and the politics of pleasure.
Healthy dating and sacred partnerships.

Click here to to sign up.

😵 Family Scripts.

Many of us are compulsively hiding from our greatness because of the unconscious scripts we internalise from our dysfunctional families. Some of mine include:

I’m not allowed to be more financially prosperous.

I’m not allowed to be emotionally healthier.

Having my own needs is selfish.

And suffering is compulsory.

Until I became conscious of these scripts, there was always fear humming in the background that I would be shamed for wanting a different life and rejected after the, ‘who do you think you are?’ conversation.

Do you relate?

In healing, we learn that whilst our parents were the portals for us to be here, they do not own the rights to our future. If your currently drifting and life feels stuck, maybe its time to explore what family contracts are unconsciously sabotaging your greatness?

Today, I will remember that I have a right to live abundantly. In this moment, I will release the family scripts that keep me in bondage and begin to write my own without apology.

😢 Your Tears Matter.

There’s been many times on this journey when pain has driven me into hiding.

I couldn’t bare to be seen.

In hiding from others, I could also hide from myself.

Under the system of racism, I absorbed the don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t trust rule so the shame and vulnerability fed the compulsion to abandon myself.

Sound familiar ?

If you relate, just know that you are not alone. In these moments, we must remember that we are the first generation from the plantation to do this work. After centuries of ongoing abuse, we are not only trying to process the pain in our lifetime, but the unexpressed pain passed down in our DNA.

In healing we learn that in order for things to change, we have to change the way we care for ourselves. Sometimes this means giving our confusion grace, unpacking painful feelings or raging at ‘God.’

In this moment I will remember that my tears matter and I don’t have to be in crisis to ask for help. Today, I will reach out to someone I trust and ask them to hold a space for me to weep.