Happy Kwanzaa Unity!

Peace and blessing family, Happy Kwanzaa!

Kwanzaa is a global, week-long celebration which honours 7 cultural values. Kwanzaa means first fruits of the harvest in Swahili. This takes  place from 26th December to 1st January. We celebrate one principle each day using Swahili words and end with a huge feast and gift-giving.

Today is Day 1 which is all about unity (Umoja): To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.

Unity is defined by how well we work together with others. It’s the opposite of being divided, to embrace togetherness. Under the system of racism, unity is often difficult because we internalise so much negativity about our blackness. In order for unity to thrive, we need to keep asking ‘where can I grow?’ and, ‘how can I serve?’

Just for today, remember that unity in the community begins with personal responsibility.  If you’re feeling stuck around your growth and want to nurture the unity within yourself, click below to download the Kwanzaa offers to reconnect to your growth process.

www.kwanzaa.juneallen.net

10 Family Boundaries for Christmas Calm

Only a few days left now before Christmas and if your anxiety is rising from thoughts about spending time with dysfunctional family. This simple checklist will help you make some compassionate choices about how you will spend your time. The first 5 questions are specific around your internal boundaries, getting honest about what feels OK for you. When you are clear about this internally, it will be easier to be clear about what will work in your family relationships. Use your journal to help you process, get clear and brainstorm ideas.  

  1. How do you want to feel?
  2. What happened last year that felt safe? What are this years triggers and what are your limits?
  3. Be realistic about your families limitations, where are you still fantasising or in denial about their behavior?    
  4. What network support do you have in place to make calls, go to recovery meetings etc?
  5. Where can you maintain or increase your self care rituals?

 These 5 are tools to manage your external relationship/family boundaries. 

  1. Organise your calendar so you have a structure in place. 
  2. Plan own transport so you are not reliant on anyone else if things get tough.
  3. Organise events with people who feel safe. Meet up with your ‘family of choice.’
  4. Limit time with crazy folk and give yourself permission to leave in you need to.
  5. Remember that presence is more important than the presents so share lots of gratitude to those who have been there for you.

If you would like a private space to share and receive more tools, you can schedule a call at www.callme.juneallen.net

3 Core Holidays Triggers To Manage with Love.

Today, I wanna talk about 3 core triggers to watch out for during the festive season and how to manage them with self love.

  1. Manic Energy: With all the shopping, planning, child school invites and all round pressure to always be filled with goodwill for the season, this can quickly lead to anxiety and stress. Use mindfulness to pause and listen to your body. What pressure are you giving yourself?   Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to take some stuff off your plate.  
  2.  Shame: Most of the marketing we see around this time of the year is all about the joy of having a white Christmas. Apart from all the snow, this also includes white Santa, white happy families, white money being spent on expensive gifts for happy white lovers, wives and children. Without realising, this invisibility can generate feelings of shame and unworthiness around not living up to white holiday ‘aspirations.’  Shame cannot live in silence so look for cultural events like Kwanzaa to celebrate and connect with local community.
  3. Isolation: If you struggle with challenging loved ones, this time of year can be stressful. There may be extra pressure to attend family gatherings which trigger depression and wanting to isolate. If you identify, it’s important to remember that we cannot change others but we can chose how we respond. It’s OK to put your well-being at the top of the list. Use safe spaces like a therapist, support group and/or mentor  to share these challenges.

If you are struggling with any of the above and need additional support, you can schdeule a call with me at www.callme.juneallen.net

Black Women’s Well-Being Event with Naomi Davidson.

Greetings and thanks for taking the time to hang out with me.

Today, I’m chatting to Naomi Davidson who is a well-being consultant and she’s all about empowering Sista’s. She got in touch as a result of the series I did on wounded daughters  to ask if I would be on the panel for her event ( 23 June 2018) which is specifically around to our UK experience.

We caught up earlier this week to chat about what to expect at the event, and next week we’re going to record a more detailed podcast about the results of her research. You can listen to our chat here.

Hope to see you Saturday!

June

 

 

YOG29: The 7 Keys to Black Empowerment: #2 Use Your Tools.

Many of us are not taught emotional literacy in our families because survival is the default way of being. Feelings are not allowed so you deny, suppress, numb out and react whenever you feel unsafe.

Emotional sobriety is our ability to feel and cope with our emotions. This helps us to respond instead of reacting to our environment. When we’re sober we can make better choices for ourselves, our family and community.

In order to achieve emotional sobriety, you need to use the appropriate tools to honor your feelings and shift the energy to create change instead of feeling enslaved inside their intensity.

In today’s podcast I share the 2nd Key to Black Empowerment, Use The Tools. I share more about the power of emotional sobriety and my 3 step system with tools to empower yourself psychologically.

Links mentioned in this episode.

The 7 Keys to Black Empowerment: #1 Truth

6 week mastermind for wounded daughters. join the wait list at  www.daughters.juneallen.net.

 

 

 

 

Self – Intimacy

Recycled racial pain means that intimacy is often confused with self abandonment, smothering and chronic care taking.

You co-dependently cram your emotional space with the needs of others in order to belong, connect and feel ‘loved.’

When this becomes a default pattern in your life, being seen then becomes a painful trigger for shame and isolation from those you love.

In recovery,  we learn that self intimacy must proceed relational intimacy. We use patience, kindness and self reflection to take the tender journey back to ourselves.

When you master the art of self intimacy, the whole world becomes your lover.

This connection is nurtured by your ability to explore, reflect and ride the journey of being human.

As you surrender to the process of discovery, you’ll move from avoiding intimacy with isolation, to honoring your divinity in solitude.

Today, I will remember that I don’t have to give up my identity to be intimate.

Affirmation: Authentic intimacy with another begins with….. in/to/me/see.

If you’re a daughter who struggles with the relationship with yourself because of your abusive black mother, join me and an intimate group of other wounded daughters for a healing 6 week mastermind, sign up here. 

Till next time

June x

How to Maintain Hope

Greetings Family,

How do you maintain a sense of hope inside the insanity of racism (white supremacy) ?

Today, I share about the power of hope when we’re willing to go to any lengths to heal.

The episode includes.

  • The hope formula
  • The joy of blackness
  • Lovin’ on our melanin magic.
  • Let it begin with me.

I also have a surprise guest on today’s show!

Be empowered!

With Blackalicious love.

June x

What is Racial Intimacy?

Greetings Family,

I hope you are having an amazing, constructive week!

Today’s topic in the FAQ series is at the core of what it really means to love ourselves, and each other. Understanding and embracing racial intimacy, empowers us to stand in the truth of who we are without apology!

Rise!

Your Sista in service,

June x

 

Did you know?  I now have a new online program called,

‘How I Reclaimed my blackness, from self hate to self love.’

The program is a step by step empowerment guide to help you understand the impact of racism on your life. You’ll also be given compassionate tools to build your own daily racial wellness rituals.

Click here to get your copy.

 

 

 

 

My First Guest Blog Post

Greeting family,

This is a Yard of Greatness milestone! I am so humbled to have my first guest blog post published on Dr Stacey Patton’s website.  A feisty US journalist, who is an unapologetic advocate for black children who have experienced abuse from their parents.  There is also a podcast to accompany the post which has more details. Its a tough read, but a necessary one for our healing.

Be empowered!

3 Reasons Why Black Folks Still Justify Whupping Our Kids

TBS15: Recovery Step 3 – Are White People Your Higher Power?

 

Greetings family,

In this show, I explore how the image of white Jesus and the religion of white supremacy (Christianity) maintains a spiritually abusive power dynamic where white people have become our Higher Power.

In 12 step recovery, step 3 is when we, ‘Made the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand it.’ As religion is one of the key areas of oppressive people activity under the system of white supremacy, I also share my experience, hope and tools for dealing with this abusive religious enmeshment. Details for this show include:

  • The concept of God.
  • The role of white supremacy in religion.
  • Slavery, Christianity and the black church.
  • White Jesus and spiritual abuse.
  • Recovery Step 3.
  • When white people were my Higher Power.
  • The dismantling and reconstruction process.
  • Setting spiritual boundaries.

Enjoy x

Don’t miss the next episode!

References in this episode:

Maat

Amun Ra

 

Further Reading.

Black People in the Bible – Randolph Jackson

The Color of Christ: The Son of God and the Saga of Race in America – Paul Harvey.

If you have any feedback, comments or questions ask me here.

If you would like to work with me you can find out more here.

#racialsobriety #theblacksteps #recovery #sobriety #racism #whitesupremacy #blackempowerment #blackgirlmagic  #racialintimacy  #thetwelvesteps