When we’ve been hurt by those who were supposed to take care of us, we internalise the hurt as a reflection of our unworthiness. We tell ourselves we’re unlovable because the other person chose to behave in an unacceptable way. Over time, many of us become so caught up in the wounds of what was done to us, that we’re blind to what we continue to do to ourselves.
In this moment, I will remember that forgiveness of others must begin with forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness for not knowing how to show up, to set boundaries or speak our truth. Today, I will forgive myself as many times as I need to
be forgiven. When I know better, I grow deeper.
The law of worthiness means that we can be empowered when we stop craving the dysfunctional approval of whiteness. We don’t have to sell out our divine joy and melanin magic in order to feel safe.
The healing process gives us permission to let go of the lies we believe about ourselves as we think, feel, act and trust who we are becoming.
Just for today, I will nurture my worthiness by speaking fyah into my now.
I am divine.
I am worthy of the support I need.
I am worthy of love now.
I honor and value my blackness.
I am worth the effort.
I am worthy of incredible blessings.
And so it is.
(c) June Allen
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Self doubt came up in the mastermind last week which can be debilitating if allowed to fester and sabotage our efforts. This is something that creeps up on me from time to time, especially when I’m trying new things so today, I want to share some reflections around how to reframe it.
Under the system of racism, many of us absorb an ocean of painful lies about what we deserve. We unconsciously believe that suffering is mandatory and joy is a luxury. Whiteness is the benchmark for happiness as wounded parents were unable to show us otherwise.
When melanin miracles appear, our inner critic pipes up to remind us that black folks can’t win. Our inner white terrorist is committed to silencing our ‘uppity negro.’
Doing the inner work helps us realise that self doubt is also our former, frightened self trying to keep us safe. Safe from being hurt, abandoned or shamed. In naming this voice, we understand a little more about ourselves, release its charge and reclaim our power.
What lies do you believe about yourself and how is it blocking your greatness sis?
In this moment, I will remember that self doubt is often the external voice of those who benefit from keeping me small. Today, I will use this opportunity to practice courage and show up for myself.
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One of the most powerful signs that we’re on the road to wholeness is our ability to respond verses react. Reactions happen as unconscious knee jerk defenses which often rebound in our community through the shaming, ‘stop being so emotional’ conversation.
In recovery we use the term, ‘if you’re hysterical, it’s historical,’ this means that the person reacting often has a history of not being heard and the person making the negative statement is either disconnected from understanding the emotional displacement or cut off from their own empathy.
On the plantation, our ancestors could loose their lives for expressing emotion and this has unconsciously been passed down to us. Emotions have now become unsafe and weaponised to keep us silent.
The healing process allows us to release and process our unheard experiences from the past so our emotions in the present, are present.
In this moment, I will be honest about the wounds from my past that are still bleeding inside my now. Today, I will ask for help to heal these wounds and free my future.
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