TBS05: Understanding Racial Pain With Mindfulness Part 1

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Greetings Mindful Yardie’s, I hope the day finds you well.

In today’s show I share on one of four layers of racial pain, the four layers are;

1/ Internalised racism and the relationship with self.

2/ Recycled trauma within our  family of origin

3/ Community pain and the silence, enabling racial codependency which feeds the system.

4/ Oppressive social relationship with the institutions that control and maintain our oppression

Today’s focus is on our internalised white supremacist. I talk openly about the trauma of being black, and the impact this had on my relationships and identity in early recovery with a white sponsor and fellows. There are also lots of tools and nuggets to empower you and help you begin to understand and manage the pain of living under this system. The other 3 layers mentioned will be covered in next week’s show.

In service,

June x

Links, books and authors mentioned in this episode:

Dr Francis Cress-Welsing – The Isis Papers

www.theisispapersbookclub.com

Neely Fuller – The United Compensatory Code System Concept  For Victims of White Supremacy

www.producejustice.com

Louise Hay – You Can Heal Your Life

You can find lots of literature about racial wellness, addiction, and the 12 step recovery process in the link below in the recovery/addiction category:

http://www.yardofgreatnessstore.com

TBS04: Honoring Dr. Welsing and 3 Questions to Recommit To Your Recovery in 2017.

 

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Happy New Year Mindful Yardie’s! Welcome to 2017!

Today’s show honor’s the 1st anniversary of the death of Dr Francis Cress-Welsing and how her book ‘The Isis Papers’ relates to the honesty required for taking the first step in recovery. I also share 3 important questions to ask yourself in order to stay empowered throughout the year, and beyond.

I am so excited about this year because I’ve been working really hard to get my experience, hope and tools out of my brain and into various formats for you to use in your own growth process. As you know I’ve already done a couple of podcasts, but I’m now ready to go much deeper with the content in relation to 12 step recovery. I am conscious of not wanting to just share about racism, but also the steps it takes to understand and maintain racial sobriety. The 12 step recovery process is where I started and continue to live in the solution for well being and counter racist mastery. As a result, I have also renamed the podcast, The Black Steps to reflect this content direction.

Enjoy!

Links mentioned in this episode:

Dr Welsing’s last lecture:

https://www.mixcloud.com/trendingwithez/dr-francis-cress-welsing-final-lecture-jan-2016-rip/

Dr Welsing’s Book: The Isis Papers

Isis Papers book club. 

http://www.theisispapersbookclub.com

Neely Fuller’s Books

www.producejustice.com

Article: White death exceeding birth.

http://time.com/4585232/white-deaths-exceed-births-united-states/

You can find lots of literature about addiction and the 12 step recovery process in the link below in the recovery/addiction category:

http://www.yardofgreatnessstore.com

If you would like to work with me, see here.

 

YOG03: 3 Ways to Nurture Your Relationships Over The Holidays.

https://bumpers.fm/e/b1dh1r6v4uo002qaf0c0

 

Greetings Mindful Yardie’s

One of the most delicious things I adore learning is the powerful art of building relationships. When we lack self awareness, sometimes our connections can be a painful cycle of defensive reactions. However, as we learn more about ourselves, we can respond and nurture our relationships with a lot more emotional intimacy, awareness and clarity.

In today’s show I’m sharing 3 powerful ways to nurture your relationships today and beyond 2017. This holiday break is a great opportunity to begin nourishing the people and community that means so much to us.

Happy Holidays!

Enjoy x.

June

YOG02: Navigating Boundaries, Racism and the Holidays.

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Greetings Mindful Yardie’s,

I’m beyond excited for you today because it’s our first proper Yard of Greatness podcast show! 

Today’s topic is about navigating boundaries, racism and the holidays. Most of us know that annoying person who drinks to much at this time of year, then thinks they can bring their fast self to you, asking for things that don’t belong to them (if you get my meaning smh!) Or you may have family members, pressuring you to engage in festivities you don’t like. With so many invites and celebrations to attend, it’s important to share how to practice good personal boundaries.

also talk about why I flung Santa out of my yard, and all the epic stuff I do instead. Once you’ve listened to the show, I’ve included a downloadable empowerment sheet at the bottom of this post, to help you get clear on your holiday values and build a more authentic presence whatever rituals you choose to include going forward. 

I hope you enjoy it!

June

https://bumpers.fm/e/b18hlkds6j8002p71sa0

 

 

Links mentioned in this show

My favourite Kwanzaa things. 

Kwanzaa Celebration
Defining your values

 

Need Some Counter Racist Self Care?

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Just a quick one, I had another great session tonight on the C.O.W.S. radio programme (Concept of White Supremacy) with Gus T. Renegade. This week, we talked about the global influence of Donald Trump being elected as the new president of the USA.  As Trump and the juggernaut of racism continues to bulldoze its way through our black minds and bodies, we need to take care of ourselves more than ever so we are better equipped to practice constructive counter-racist behavior.  I have revised my ebook on managing racial stress which includes tools on how to understand your emotions, managing black rage etc. You can now download free here. I’ll upload the COWS radio show replay in the next few days.
In the meantime, love on that Melanin!
Till next time.
June

48th Birthday Joy and Secrets!

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It’s my birthday today!!! Yay! My blackalicious, melanoid magnificent, 48th earthday! Yes, I did say 48, and yes, I know my melanin is on fleek and I don’t look my age! #mytoyboydaysareover lmao! Ok, ok, laughing aside on a serious note, I’m incredibly grateful for another colossal year of growth, opportunity, and abundance. Whilst i’ve experienced some incredibly painful shifts in my personal life and as I’ve built this business, the experiences have seeded some rich layers of vulnerability and strength which have allowed me to connect with my delicious little plantain (Zuri), and my community at a much deeper level.

I just want to have some fun with ya’ll today, so I’m doing a little personal Q & A which you may find interesting or scroll on past. Either way, it’s my birthday so I’m going to be talking about myself for a change, tee heee. That was my professional cue to start talking about the importance of self love, etc but no. Today, I’m feeling very cheeky so I’m just going to bomb some random questions and answers to amuse myself and entertain you for a few mins. 🙂

I will run from….
Cockroaches! When I was 7, I went to Jamaica with my dad. At my grandmas house, there was an outdoor toilet in the yard. The seat was a plank of wood with a hole cut into it, but as I sat down to do my business, I felt something touching my bottom. When I stood up and looked to see what it was, the inside was crawling with cockroaches. I ran screaming from toilet and from that day, I just can’t..

My funniest parenting moment is…..
On Sunday’s I like to do a Jamaican soul food roast dinner with rice and peas, plaintain, apple crumble etc (yes, I know crumble is British before you message me!). Anyway, this one Sunday I wasn’t feeling well, so the dinner was basic and stripped of the cultural elements with the peas etc. When I served it up, my daughter gave me her disappointed screw face, and proceeded to tell me that the dinner was ‘white’. I’m still cracking up as I’m writing this!

A secret folks don’t know about me is…..
I’m actually an introvert! It’s still a struggle for me at times to be visible and connect with people, but I’m challenging myself daily to take bigger emotional risks. I am currently working on some podcasts and would love to do some public speaking in the future. I’m starting to get asked to do this kind of work a lot more recently so watch this space!

My 15 mins of fame is……
I worked as a professional model for 5 years and loved it! I had the opportunity to travel, do catwalk, magazines and music videos. It was an awesome experience, but what I also learned is that external validation is temporary and self esteem can only be built from the inside. That said, it’s still really cool looking back at my 15 mins. Recognise anyone?

I am most proud of……
My recovery journey hands down. Most of my past relationships were addictive, codependent and very destructive, but as I worked through the layers of shame, denial and rage, I found and rebuilt my broken self. In finding the courage to now practice racial intimacy, not only do I have more self esteem, but I am able to connect with my daughter and others in a way I never thought possible.

I got into this work because…….
As a third generation Jamaican slave descendant (born raised in the UK), I inherited an inter generational pathology of unexpressed, recycled trauma. After I passed my Psychotherapy foundation year, I hit another rock bottom after writing my dissertation which explored the consequences of slavery, attachment and intimacy in my life. Whilst the paper gifted me with a distinction, I was overwhelmed with the reality of how much racial trauma was still destroying my life and those I love. My rage at white supremacy and the pain of feeling powerless is what got me started.

What drives me is…….
Every time I feel like I want to give up, my daughters delicious brown face reminds me of what needs to be done. Seeing her grow, learn and thrive is what drives me. When I crawl through the grief layers of leaving those still committed to acting out their pain, I remember the importance of service, compassion and wisdom. I must pay my sobriety forward to those who want it and stop torturing myself trying to rescue those I think need it. What motivates me, is seeing the benefits of teaching counter racist behavior and practicing racial intimacy. What drives me is seeing my people win!

My shero is……
Dr Francis Cress-Welsing. A third generation physician who devoted her life to understanding the system racism (white supremacy ) through her book The Isis Papers. My work is about honouring her theories and building a safe platform around it for people to understand and process the difficult feelings which accompany living inside this abusive system. I hear alot of people saying that the answer to our liberation is self knowledge through studying our history, many say that it’s economic empowerment. These are valid pieces to the puzzle, but I believe our authentic freedom begins with facing AND feeling the truth of our traumatised history. We must find the courage to process the loss of our blackness, so we can rebuild our self esteem which will in turn nurture our communities at a deep level as a natural consequence.

I am now working on……..
The Isis Papers book study course which will be released in 2017. I can’t wait to share it with you. Register for updates at www.theisispapersbookclub.com

My vision is……
Black people have absorbed so much racial pain over the years, that our very blackness has become the trigger that disconnects us. My vision is to build something that will help us find each again and love fearlessly the way RA intended in the beginning.

Thank you for sharing my birthday and being part of my journey. Please pray for me as grow and continue to live in my purpose. I pray that you will also find the courage to become an active part of the movement for our healing through emotional empowerment, racial sobriety and fearless change to produce justice in our communities.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Till next time, your Sista in truth,

June xx

P.S I’d love to stay in touch so if you have not done so already,  join the email list below for weekly inspiration, tools, and updates on services to help you shine in your blacknificence.

 

Alethiology – The Study of Truth. Are You Standing In Yours?

One of the things that keeps us trapped inside our racial pain is our disconnection from the truth, our truth. Many of us like the idea of living authentically in this regard, but it’s much harder to practice inside a system which aggressively demands the abandonment of our blackness.

Neely Fuller Jr. and Dr Francis Cress-Welsing dedicated their lives to teaching the world how this social cancer infects us in all areas of people activity; education, entertainment, economics, labour, law, politics, religion, sex, and war.

It’s aggressive nature along with the layers of intergenerational powerlessness, means that many of us have unconsciously learned to accept dishonesty as part of our daily lives. We also codependently believe that not speaking our black truth will save us from future pain.

When we are unaware of how this racist confusion is maintained, we unconsciously enable the system’s breeding, and remain vulnerable to absorbing a legacy which murders the souls of our people.

Exploring my cultural needs in the early stages of growth was a painful experience, as I separated from my internalised racist thinking and began reclaiming my true sense of self. Some mornings, I still wake up feeling like a dumb negro, and other times I remember that me and my blackness are the magnificence of Ra in human form. This racist, boomerang confusion and self awareness is part of the growth process we must face to purge ourselves of the lies of white supremacy.

The journey to black empowerment includes layered cycles of dismantling, grieving, discovering and recovering the deeper parts of ourselves. As we begin to understand our personal patterns of hiding from the truth, we can find healthy way to start living more authentically. Our brilliance will  blossom as we shed the layers of self hate, and surround ourselves with the greatness of others who mirror and remind us who we are.

Just for today, I can lower the walls of denial with kindness, by first being compassionate with myself. When I speak my truth, I manifest my power. When I live my truth, I am unstoppable.

Today’s Affirmation

As I search for my truth, the truth will find me.

I am truth.

Ashe.

In honor of today’s reflection about Alethiology (the study of truth), I have created this cool collection of attire to go with it. I’ve had lots of fun this weekend reviewing my shop for the autumn and I’m well chuffed with these simple pieces which some up everything that the Yard of Greatness is about.

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But wait….I nearly forgot that you will also get 20% off the Yardie Attire from today Oct 31st  until Nov 6th.

Use the Code: SAVE20NOW when you checkout! and tweet me a picture of you in it @yardofgreatness

Why not register to learn more about Dr Francis Cress-Welsing’s work in my book club launching next year. You can buy a copy of ‘The Isis Papers’ text beforehand by clicking on the picture below. See you next time!

Emotional wealth is my birthright. – Yard Reflections 01

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The true meaning of wealth has been lost under the guise of cash hustle, generational assets and shiny, big ticket trinkets. In our aggressive pursuit of wealth, we can get stuck in the fantasy that having more, means that we are more.

Emotional wealth on the other hand, is a deeper level of understanding and ownership of our emotions. When we’re emotionally wealthy, our life has meaning. We can love fiercely and grieve deeply. We stand in our truth, even if it sometimes means standing alone. We nurture our sense of worthiness and receive abundance in all its forms.

As a consequence of our abusive racial history, many of us did not inherit healthy tools for nurturing our emotional wealth. Instead, we were passed down dysfunctional legacies of shame, disconnection and anger. We were robbed of our ability to be happy in the enmeshed expectations and demands of others.

We all deserve the right to thrive in an environment which mirrors our commitment to abundant personal growth.  In our culture of denial and avoidance, many of us are afraid to feel our feelings, but sharing in a safe space can help us understand our pain, and open the door to relief, wisdom and clarity. When our inner circle is emotionally broke, we can give ourselves permission to detach with love and move forward with those committed to change.

Emotional wealth is the root where all riches are seeded. To be happy, we must protect and nurture it like a savings account. Regularly deposit positive emotions and cultural experiences to build racial esteem. Be mindful of any people, systems or things trying to make unauthorised withdrawals. We cannot control the behavior of those trying to get access, but we have full control over how we respond and take care of our account.

Fearless ownership of our emotions means that our happiness becomes a magnet for abundant financial wealth in its purest form. When we commit to taking better care of ourselves, we also create a legacy of racial serenity, strength and empowerment within our family and the community.

Today, I claim my right to happiness, just as I am. In this moment, I own my feelings and choose some loving actions to nurture my well being.

And so it is.

Till next time

June. aka Mindful Yardie

If you enjoyed today’s Yard Reflections and think it may empower someone, please share it with a friend or on your social media.

www.juneallen.net

The joy of an outdoor power pause.

With all the tragedy in recent weeks along with our daily busyness, it can often be hard to stop, reflect, and be present. Our overstimulated minds from aggressive advertising, multitasking and the illusion of needing more, constantly robs us of our inner calm and natural, spiritual place of wholeness.
We belong in nature, and when I give myself permission to take a power pause and reconnect to the earth, I remember how easy it is to attune to my Higher Power, especially around trees. The glorious weather in London has been the perfect excuse to wander barefoot in the park and recharge my melanoid soul. 

Being outdoors during the summer has always been an important family event and I’ve taken my daughter camping at music festivals ever since 2010 (when she was 2). Despite enjoying the time we spent at these festivals, there was always a longing to experience it at a deeper, cultural level with other black people. Last year, I could hardly contain my excitement at discovering a wonderful organisation who flipped the ‘black folks don’t camp’ myth on its head. I finally found a space where melanin rich folks could celebrate our culture through the power of storytelling.

I know there’ll be those who whine that having black only spaces is ‘reverse racism.’  P.S.A. Black people cannot be racist, because our choices do not affect white people as a group, e.g. we can hate racist white folks all we want, but it won’t stop your whiteness being prioritised for a job, bank loan, housing etc. but I digress and that conversation is for another blog post. The truth is, these black spaces are needed in response to, and having some respite from the ongoing everyday racism we experience. Also, with all the recent racial trauma and deaths, it is even more difficult for us to grieve and heal as a community, so it’s actually as healthy boundary, and act of self love to take time out from the people and structures which enforce and enable the abuse. It’s important just to spend time with each other in our shared experience to recharge.

My first experience at the African Storytelling festival when I arrived, was excitement in the car park as brotha’s and sistah’s pulled up in over packed cars, with children hungry for woodland freedom. There was a warm sense of family from the beginning, I had offers to help build my tent, and Zuri (my daughter) was off in a flash exploring and chatting to other children as they arrived. The storytelling workshops were a wonderful opportunity to share and identify, we learn history, our values, spirituality and the importance of community. The performances were also powerful tools for connection that had me initially terrified of speaking amongst strangers, to embracing a childlike joy as I embraced the freedom of engagement. We must never underestimate the glory of hearing stories about us, told by us. Mirroring is a powerful tool for building our identity and raising self esteem.

I cannot even begin to convey how healing it was to absorb the power of the drum which echoed through the woods the whole weekend. I remember thinking, despite the traumatic journey of my ancestors from Africa, to Jamaica and then onto the UK, my soul remembers it’s source, the rhythms, the fyah and ancestral energy ricochet straight back from the Motherland.

One of my favorite memories last year, was when a large group of us were strewn over the grass outside my tent, reasoning, sharing and laughing as we shared food and snacks. My pot became became their pot. I arrived a stranger and became an sistah to many, the auntie to a beautiful little girl who was happy popping by to explore my tent and play with my daughter. The campfire at night was a delicious space for chatter and song, I even saw a breadfruit being roasted and devoured with abandon. I felt right at home, here is a sneak peak from last year.

As the year has flown past and the countdown begins before to unpack my tent again, I just had to grab the founder and powerful warrior for a chat about how this project was brought to life and what to expect this year.

JA: Tell us about yourself and your movement?

GC:  My name is Griot Chinyere, and I’m a storyteller and the artistic director to ashanti-chi which is a company whose main aim is to promote, preserve and celebrate the oral tradition of African storytelling. I use it as a leadership tool to train and empower people. I use it with children, adults, prisoners, young people, the suited and booted, the rough and ready, domestic violence victims, the homeless etc. It’s a powerful tool that was introduced to me at 10 years old and I love the healing power it gives when used correctly.

JA: How did the festival project come about?

GC: I come from a long line of storytellers and I wanted to find another way to preserve  the tradition. I have also been to lots of others festivals where I’ve been the minority and loved being outdoors, but always wondered where my community was?  I’m not one to complain about things so I wanted to do something about it. I began by doing some expedition leadership training where I learned how to build fires, map & compass reading, food foraging etc. and then I worked to combine the things I love about the old traditions and nature, together for people who looked like me. When I was 10, I went home to my mother’s village and it was an amazing feeling to experience being in a village, to be surrounded by people who look like me and recognise me. There are many (Africans) who live in the UK who may never have that experience, so I wanted to create a space for us to be who we are, where we are. This is how the Nne Agwu Afrakan storytelling festival was born.

JA: How has the festival evolved over the years since it started?

GC: When I first started it was just an evening with a few storytellers walking through the woods. It then progressed to an overnight event from 6pm till 6am, then 2 nights and it grew from there.

JA: Why do you think black folks don’t camp?

GC: When I first started, I heard a lot of people saying that they didn’t want to do the camping thing, but I’ve noticed over the years that more people are willing to give camping a try. There is also the option to attend the day’s events and not camp overnight, the venue is accessible via the tube.

JA: What can campers expect from the festival this year?

GC:It’s the first year that we are using the festival to honour someone. It was mentioned that it was the 10 anniversary of Louise Bennett (Miss Lou’s)  death on 27 July and how did I feel about honouring her this time which was a no brainer. She was a storyteller, a poet, a folklorist, an oral  traditionalist more than anything. She went to RADA (Royal Academy of Dramatic Art) in England, and although they spoke BBC English, she was an advocate for her authentic, Jamaican voice. She probably stopped a lot of Jamaican children getting clipped around the ear for speaking patois, as they became familiar with her work. The way that she told her stories, as well as the stories themselves encouraged Jamaicans to be proud of who they are, it was an acceptance of self.  She also revealed the connection between patois and some of the African languages, for example in Igbo language, we say ndeewu means, greetings to you (one person) but if there were many people it’s ndeewunu and unu in Jamaican patois means you many. She was able to make those important connections across our journey.

Linton Kwesi Johnson is a massive fan of Louise Bennett and has recently become our patron. His poetry tells stories which transforms the negative to the positive. He provokes thought with ways of moving forward, giving us jokes so we feel good about who we are.  We are having our opening ceremony with him on the Friday. I am also hoping that one of Louise Bennett’s relatives will also attend. We want to set the right tone so we can enjoy the space and support each other and any newcomers.

Throughout the weekend we have musicians, yoga, night walks and the best storytellers from around the country. We have a wonderful vegan chef, a wellbeing area, a herbalist, and a small African market with actor Chris Tummings who will be sharing his hand made bamboo saxophones. It’s our way of connecting with and honouring our ancestors. We give thanks and listen in order for us to rise and shine in our greatness.

Whether you’re able to make the festival or not, make some time to get outdoors and explore Ra’s glorious creation, it’s great for your health and an amazing opportunity for family self care. For my melanoid family in the US, I found this gorgeous site which organises inspiring camping events for black people.  http://www.outdoorafro.com/

The Nne Agwu storytelling festival runs from Friday 29th July, to Monday 1 August 2016 Full details and the line up can be found below. Don’t miss it!

http://www.shanti-chi.com/#!african-storytelling-festival/c1wkp

 

5 Loving ways to manage racial stress.

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In my previous post, I shared Jesse William’s powerful speech from the BET music awards, where he shared the unapologetic truth about our black pain. Many felt empowered at being acknowledged on such a public platform, and his speech along with our appreciation went viral. However like clockwork, it didn’t take long for white supremacy to slap the hope out of our mouths, with an onslaught of black male murders, committed by racist white law enforcement. This erupted into violence, where officers were also killed in the fall out.

As I send virtual condolences to the families of the deceased, I am also deeply concerned about the impact of the video murders of Alton Sterling, and Philandro Castile on our black psyches. One of the most valuable commodities in maintaining white supremacy, is our ongoing traumatisation and emotional abuse. When we remain in this confused state, it’s much easier for us to be manipulated and controlled on mass.

I chose not to watch any of the videos, because seeing my people killed with impunity is to upsetting, and I need to be as present as possible in order to be productive. It’s hard enough that I’ve been trying to finish this post for the last 2 days, but my insomnia and the daily rise in dead bodies meant that I needed to just surrender to being human, and take some time to collect myself, before coming back with something supportive from an emotionally sober place. Now that I have refueled a bit, I’m sharing 5 simple tools to help you manage your racial stress.

Process not projection.

When we’re exposed to this trauma, we can feel powerless, angry and numb as a consequence of the initial racist abuse, and then the secondary social abandonment. Our body reacts to this emotional violence, by generating the energy which prepares us for a fight or flight response. If this is not discharged, it can end up being negatively recycled and projected unconsciously into our closest relationships. This means that our heightened state may cause more irrational responses towards our loved ones. We may also feel resentment, mistrust and anxiety around other white people in our personal and/or professional circles. These feelings are all completely normal, and if we’re able to be honest with ourselves whilst practicing the other tools, we’re less likely to act on them in a destructive way.

Discharge the energy.

Discharging this energy involves doing an activity which will help to process and move the stress outside the body. When I woke up this morning, I was exhausted from very little sleep and still feeling anxious and emotionally numb. However, after 30 mins of Jamaican style movement to some banging Afrobeats, I felt a lot more present and willing to engage the day. Other suggestions include,

  1. Punching pillows or the bed (in private). Set a timer for 1 min, and fill up the time. When I do this exercise, I also like to picture someone who represents my upset. May I appropriately suggest Donald Trump or for my UK people suffering after the rise is racist attacks after Brexit, you can use Nigel Farage or Boris Johnson. Pick what works for you and pound it out. You’ll finish exhausted, but so much lighter.
  2. Take long, deep, conscious breaths for 3 mins and visualise the negative energy leaving your body.
  3. Rage journaling is where you allow yourself to do some free flow writing about your feelings, cussin’ to the max when necessary! Finish off with some slow breaths and a gratitude entry.

Self – Soothing

Self soothing techniques can really help the recovery process, as you consciously practice behaviors which will reconnect you to yourself. This self care is about self-compassion, being gentle in the same way you would a young child. Use each of your 5 senses (vision, hearing, smell, taste, touch) and right a list of your favorite things to build a  self-soothing toolkit. You will recognise a lot of these simple techniques, but to practice them more consciously will empower you inside this system of powerlessness.    

 

Discharge (5)

Community

Community spaces, particularly at this traumatic time are incredibly important. Choose one that feels safe with people you trust to share feelings and give support. Religious organisations and culturally specific support or recovery groups can be great resources to find help and explore your feelings. Community empathy from your tribe can be very healing and great for processing our collective grief.

Boundaries

Our personal boundaries mean that we can identify and communicate clearly what is acceptable to us. At this vulnerable time, the natural reaction may be to withdraw and protect ourselves emotionally and psychologically, so understanding where the boundaries are, are an essential part of the healing. It will also help to have an honest discussion with your family about how you will deal with this, and be clear on where your boundaries are as a unit. Consider carefully where your triggers are regarding social media and take a break if needed.

In closing, Jesse Williams explained that ,‘it is not the job of the oppressed to comfort the bystander,’ so if you need to take some temporary time away from your white friendships, give yourself permission to do so. You are under no obligation to justify or engage in conversation about your boundaries with any white supremacist, ‘all lives matter,’ ‘not all white people,’ ‘what about black on black crime,’ ‘not all cops,’ ‘yeah, but he should have moved his right foot,’ rhetoric, which are clear deflections from the truth about the war on black people. It’s your pain, your choice.

Be tender with yourself, till next time

In Service

June