Tag: Inner Child

Changing patterns?

Sacred Sista Assistant

The things that kept us soothed and safe as children in dysfunctional families can block us from what we need as adults. Journaling can help us identify any recurring patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that no longer serve us. Exploring these experiences compassionately can give us clarity on how the past continues to bleed into the present and reveal what healing support we need for the future.

 

This week’s heartwork: Reflect on the coping mechanisms you developed as a child to navigate difficult emotions, situations and/or family dynamics. Are there any patterns or behaviours from childhood that you still find yourself repeating as an adult?

 

If you found this heartwork valuable and would like to explore deeper healing, there are additional journal prompts available free in the Sista Sanctuary.  Click here to join the sistahood today.

The Power of Kitty Calm.

June Allen

Ever since I was a little girl, cats have always been a great source of comfort. There’s something so settling about being around the purring and ‘biscuit’ making. When I had no safe people to turn to, my cat with the only consistent love I knew. There’ve been many times when I’ve been upset and my cat would appear and sit with me. My furry friend reminded me that I was not alone and that whatever I was going through would pass. Today, I have a cute kitty called Cleo (short for Cleopatra) who brings me so much joy. 

Cats can bring out the playful, softness in us and also teach that we deserve to rest, chill and BE without apology. Research has found that the vibes of a cat’s purr can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and even promote tissue regeneration. Stroking your cat (or any pet) also releases oxytocin, (love hormone) which helps if you feel lonely or upset.

As part of my series on justice for your inner child, it was fun to create a meditation of kitty calm. If you’re allergic to cats but love them this is purrrrfect. 

Lastly, one of the things I love about social media is allowing my inner child to indulge in kitty content so here are my fav Instagram pages. 

Mr Kitters. owners have attached a camera to his collar so its a real treat to get a cheeky incite into his world. Get ready for lots of kitty chat, neighborhood beefs and climbing adventures.

Black people pets. is a hilarious page where black culture is expressed in how we love our pets.

I hope you enjoy exploring all this kitty love as much as I enjoyed creating it!


What exactly does justice for your inner child mean?

June Allen

One of the most powerful aspects of my work is holding space for a client’s inner child to emerge. It can take a while before this younger part of ourselves feels safe enough to come out from where they’ve been hiding. Sometimes I’ll need to slow them down from intellectualising and using words to cover their pain.

When I sense her little one coming, we pause. We breathe…… and silence becomes a tender invitation. 

Often in this moment the words are replaced with tears. And we just sit…. 

I’ll gently reassure but the space is hers, at her pace to reveal to me and the client’s adult self what she needs….. 

This is just a small example of what inner child justice looks like in session. I hear so many stories from clients holding painful family secrets, lies, and betrayal that hold them hostage and unable to stand in their greatness. 

Justice for your inner girl means finding reparative spaces and allowing yourself to receive the love, care and support you didn’t get growing up. Building a family or choice with pseudo aunties, siblings and big sista’s who can hold you through the vulnerabilities of doing this work and beyond is crucial. You deserve to flourish, thrive and be free from the burdens of your past. 

Are you ready to create space for your inner girl? 


 

Recognizing Coping Mechanisms

June Allen

The things that kept us soothed and safe as children in dysfunctional families can block us from what we need as adults. Journaling can help us identify any recurring patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that no longer serve us. Exploring these experiences compassionately can give us clarity on how the past continues to bleed into the present and reveal what healing support we need for the future.

This week’s heartwork: Reflect on the coping mechanisms you developed as a child to navigate difficult emotions or situations. Are there any patterns or behaviors from childhood that you still find yourself repeating as an adult?

Click here to join the Sacred Sista Sanctuary.

If you’re hysterical, it’s historical! 5 Inner child wounds you need to heal.

Sacred Sista Assistant

If you’re hysterical, it’s historical! I first heard this phrase in recovery and it helped me explore how my past was leaking into my present.  

If you were hurt as a child without having a safe adult to support and soothe you, you may have buried these layers of pain to cope. If you struggle to love yourself or be in healthy relationships and friendships, it may be your buried childhood wounds being activated. The healing process means educating ourselves with not just what happened to us, but the impact it has on our adult lives so today, I want to share five types of inner child wounds.

1.Abandonment: When a child feels neglected, or unloved by caregivers, this leads to feelings of insecurity, rejection, and fear of abandonment in adulthood.

2.Betrayal: When a child’s trust is violated by caregivers or significant others through deception, dishonesty, or broken promises, this leads to adult, relational mistrust.

3.Humiliation: When a child is shamed, belittled, or ridiculed by caregivers or authority figures it sets up feelings of worthlessness and a fear of being judged or criticised as an adult.

4.Rejection: When a child is invalidated, dismissed, or not accepted by caregivers or peers, this feeds feelings of inadequacy, shame and fear of rejection.

5.Injustice: When a child experiences unfair treatment, injustice, or victimization by caregivers, peers, or societal systems, this  can lead to self hatred, anger and a sense of powerlessness as an adult. 

Racism, anti-blackness, patriarchy and other oppressive systems, are the abusive, toxic ‘social parents’ that add additional wounding to each of these layers. Healing involves acknowledging, decolonising and processing these early experiences to reframe the relationship with ourselves, others and our culture.

What does inner child work mean for black women? 

If you’re ready to start doing your inner child work, click here to join the Sista Sanctuary where this month’s theme is Justice for Your Inner Child.