Before attending one of my recovery meetings, I found racist abuse all over it’s poster because it was a closed space for folks who identify as people of color.
Keeping this boundary is an important part of keeping the space safe for members to share their truth and minimise racial codependency (code switching) if white people attended.
At first I felt shock. Although I understand intellectually that I’m a black women living under the system of racism, it’s always painful when I experience it so overtly.
It’s especially hard in the recovery space, where people are there to heal, not to have to deal with more abuse. I shared what happened with the group and went straight into sharing my experience, strength and hope in what was a powerful meeting.
It was only when I returned home that I was really able to reflect on what happened and understood the power of racial sobriety.
Before recovery, racist abuse sent me straight into a shame spiral, doing whatever was necessary to stuff down my feelings, minimise the abuse and keep myself small around white people.
Today, I understand that racism is an addiction to power. A spiritual disease where white supremacists have so much self loathing, that they must act it out through oppressing those who trigger any reminder of their whiteness.
In this moment, I will remember that what others think about my skin tone is none of my business. I do not have to absorb their toxic projections, and have the right to set the appropriate boundaries that will keep me safe.
I am a precious child of God, deserving of all things good, abundant and peaceful.
And so it is.