Are you self silencing?

Self-silencing has been coming up a lot in session with my clients this week, and many are beginning to recognise the devastating consequences of this suppression on their mental and physical health. This behaviour has often been learned as a defense mechanism to keep us safe when a relationship or social environment has proved unsafe and punishing when we speak up.

Black women have also been taught inside systems of oppression that our voices don’t matter, we’re suppose to just suck up our pain and crack on with things no matter how much we’re being abused.  It then makes sense why we become angry but can’t articulate why because we have a lifetime of unmet needs in a pressure cooker that has been slammed shut.

The healing process is about working with sista’s to explore the relationship they have with their voice. Some struggle to articulate their needs because the’re so numb and others find great relief in discharging the feelings and unburdening secrets that have kept them suffering for so long.

The black mother wound keeps a lot of folks in cycles of shame, guilt and fear of further rejection so self silencing is how we try and keep the peace, meanwhile there’s a war raging inside that robs us of our integrity and ability to show up in relationships as codependency takes root and becomes how we relate. For details on healing your mother wound go to  Do you relate to self silencing?